New greatly appreciated

by Confusedandangry 42 Replies latest jw experiences

  • cha ching
    cha ching

    Yep, I am just going to say one more time...... "Don't tell people what you know" "Don't ask them questions" "Don't think that you can convince them with facts"

    You will not win with facts.... You cannot use facts. Their brains are wired to turn off, they will shake, their eyes will roll, they will run.

    All I told a friend was "I was teaching someone that the people from Sodom and Gomorrah would be resurrected, I asked the B.S. "Will they?" She replied, "no, the Bible says no" and I replied, "What does the paragraph say?" (I hated it when I said it, but I did anyway)

    So I tell my friend, "a few months later, the Society changes the teaching to "No, Sodom & Gomorrah will NOT be resurrected" and that is not the first time they have changed their viewpoint... and that is NOT the light getting brighter, that is the light turning off and on and off and on"

    My 'friend' shook, turned pale, backed up, and said, "You need to talk to the elders!!!!"

    Now this was a fairly intelligent person, a "pioneer" that talked to 'worldly' people all the time out in service. She had to refute their "wrong ideas about the Bible" all the time. Why could she not answer me? What was so scary? If she had the truth, it should have been easy....

    That is the part you must remember. JWs are trained to respond immediately in escape mode... in "Listen Obey & Be Blessed" mode..... right? They are like wild animals that see a human being, they go into panic mode and run!

    That being said..... Do...... not..... think..... you.... can.... "explain" / "convince" or anything else....

    Read this forum for a while before you decide to do anything. And breathe........ Let it sink in..... breathe..... Like others have said, their is no "undo button." Don't think you are smarter than the WT. They have experience... they know what they ARE doing, and what they HAVE done.

    hugs, cha ching

  • Confusedandangry

    Thank you soooo very much everyone for your responses. I am sitting here reading every single piece of advice and I really appreciate everyone's effort to help me. It really feels as if everyone here knows almost exactly how I'm feeling and what I'm going through. It's incredible to be able to get support from people I've never met who are willing to take time out of their busy lives to do so. It honestly means so much to me. I have spent every free minute reading the links that some of you have given me and it's been so helpful in making me feel like I'm on the right path. Thank you again everyone from the bottom of my heart. I may post a new thread to get your opinions on other subjects. Good night everyone!

    #nolongerconfusedandangry now I am #movingforward

  • nonjwspouse

    I concur, do nOT bring this up with hubby until you have good control over your anger, which may take a while. it can suriseyou. It will set you bad.k with him He MUST trust you. That is the KEY. thoughtful questions he just can't answer without feeling uncomfortable. do not push. Patience is SOS SO hard , but SO SO necessary.

    Also "lovebomb" him with all things non JW, outings, picnics, etc. TAKE IT SLOW and develop a plan. You MUST do your best to keep from arousing his persecution complex, which then places you as a suspicious enemy. NOT a good place to be when you are trying so hard to plant seeds of gentle doubt.

    I am speaking from years, six actually, of experience and it is not over yet. This is how slow it CAN ( but ntot always) be. Or sometimes even slower. YOU.DO.NOT.KNOW.

    Take care of yourself. Make life plans for yourself, hopefully eventually our husband will want to join in on them. ( and your children if you have them) don't allow the JW rules to hold you. or them. back.) Lived your life fully, and happily.

Share this