Hows come I wanna just sit on my ass today and do nothin?

by gumby 32 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  gumby

  Well my job cancelled today....it's raining and cold, my back is sore, and I'm in a good mood.

  Heres the problem,

  My sweet little wife wants to do re-do our floors(old wood under the carpet ), and wants to re-finish them. I was all set for the weekend to start......but I've got today off and .....well.....there's no reason I shouldn't start now and get up off my butt.......but remember it's raining, my back is sore, and I'm having fun doing this right now. I don't want to work and I feel like a lazy bastard and need support from other lazy bastards who feel like me right now......a poor lazy bastard!

  Is there any out there? Please help

  Gumby
• 

  SpannerintheWorks

  'Cos you're a lazy bastard, ya lazy bastard!

  Spanner
• 

  searchfothetruth

  I know how you feel because I too am a lazy bastard. I have made a career of it.

  I only get out of bed when I have to and that isn't very often. I am lying in bed now with the keyboard suspended above the bed so I don't have to strain myself.

  My wife liquify's my food so I don't have to expend any energy on chewing.

  In fact my brain is hurting now writing thi..............
• 

  SpannerintheWorks

  Search,

  My wife liquify's my food

  If money is no object, I would recommend having a proboscis super-glued to your mouth so you can dissolve your food with your own saliva

  whilst sleeping. Very energy efficient!

  Spanner
• 

  gumby

  So far....everything is going as planned according to the responses........which I might add.... made me laugh my friggin arse off. You guys are nuts!

  I'm am feelin guiltier by the minute though dammit! She guessed I'd probably do what I'm doin so it won't big too big of a surprize..........in other words she won't be real pissed.

  Gumby
• 

  SpannerintheWorks

  Gumby,

  I do feel sorry for you. Have you tried the "Pretending To Have A Heart Attack Whilst Blow-kissing The Wife Goodbye" routine? Works every

  time works for me!

  Spanner

  PS, it's good to have a few rehearsals (in front of the mirror) first.
• 

  Vivamus

  Tell her what I tell the Spanish Inquisition ... "I have been examining some old dogma [add old dogma to your own choosing] that really matters to me. I have found new insight in certain aspects of my own character [add certain aspects to your own choosing] and actions, I feel more at ease with my own mortality now."

  Just look smart saying it, nod two or three times as to emphisize [sp] the statement.

  Gawd, writing that down makes it sound so empty and stupid, but I swear it works...
• 

  JamesThomas

  I heard somewhere that you should never ever do your wood floors when it's cold and rainy, and your back is sore, and your in a good mood. In some places there are laws against it. There are intricate scientific reasons for it that I can not recall at this time. But people have died from it. Especially on the 16th of April when the moon and magnetic thingy is the way it is on this date every year. Best to open a bottle of wine and sit at the computer. JamesT
• 

  gumby

  Gawd, writing that down makes it sound so empty and stupid

  I don't think that sounded stupid Viv..........

  I think it sounded extremely empty and stupid!(I'll use it as a last resort)

  I suppose I will try whatever reply sounds like it will work the best. I was thinkin about sayin something like " I was going to start working and decided I would take an enema first so I'd feel better and be able to work faster.........and then my stomach started hurting and it hasn't quit hurting since".

  Then I though about it a while and remembered that I already used that one when I put on our deck.

  I still might do a little work.

  BTW Spanner...the heart attack thing only worked for Fred Sanford

  Gumby
• 

  Satanus

  Well, speaking as a lazy bastard, i could give you some philosophical reasons to pospone one or two days. What the he# difference is a couple of days going to make 20 yrs from now? If you get to enjoy two days as you see fit, will that not render you capable of doing a good job instead of perhaps a mediocre one? Perhaps starting out w a sore back will make it worse, requiring an even longer delay later. Perhaps the wood will have to much humidity, causing the varnish to bubble.

  Hope this helps.

  SS