Can you be D/F in absentia?

by ScoobySnax 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • ozziepost
    Evidence or remorse is irrelevent.(to a JC)

    And so is Christianity, forgiveness, and the Bible!

    The truth is that NONE of the JC procedures have anything to do with the Bible, since the Bible doesn't mention it. Nowhere. Nix. So as Big Tex says "They can do whatever they want" i.e. whatever is expedient at the time. That's the reality.

    Cheers, Ozzie

  • onacruse

    Big Tex:

    One can be disfellowshipped for any reason at any time.

    Well said. Rather like the disclaimer on credit card accounts: "We may cancel or suspend your Account at any time without notice. We may choose not to renew your Account without notice."


  • ScoobySnax

    True, ....guess I should be thankfull that it wasn't in the "small print" though as you say/quote. I think on "joining" we all knew what the terms were for "cancel" and "suspend your account" Guess its about taking responsibility for your own actions. I think thats what many have difficulty with coming to grips with. Just my opinion of course. Even if "The JC procedures have nothing to do with the Bible" as said, they were still there. I like to think I went in to it with my eyes open......

  • M-J

    Firstly, this is my 1st post, and I am sorry for bumping an old topic, but I was searching on yahoo for "disfellowshipped in absentia", and there you are, ranked number one in the results.

    Ok, I was disfellowshipped in absentia when I was 18, I had actually turned up to meet the three elders, but they didn't show up themselves, they did try and contact me in the following days at home, but I refused to take the call, which was a noble thing to do, my dad was the P.O. and he had just picked up the phone.

    Also, that was the 2nd time I had been disfellowshipped, the first time I was a regular pioneer, just out of pioneer school at 17, and sat through the announcement on the Thursday night, after appealing the decision, for being disfellowshipped for lying, following a sexual relation with a recently re-instated "sister", I was the one who approaced the elders about it, it was the first time I had ever had to approach the elders in my life, I was born into a Witness home, and basically my "story of events" differed to her "story of events", wow what memories.

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    Howdy MJ, and welcome.

    What I've learned is that one can be disfellowshipped for any reason at any time. The rules, or law, often do not matter. The best course, I believe, is to move on and leave the trash and negativity behind.

    Have you been out for some time?


    Edited to add: No, by the way, I've never been disfellowshipped or disassociated. I haven't been at meetings since 1989.

  • Fleur

    I was.

    I even wrote a DA letter first and they still announced it as a DF'ing.

    That's what I got for being the PO's daughter in law I guess...

  • rocky220

    D/F'd for behaviour unbecoming of a christian.....that was the word!.....can your believe it???!!! Such assholes! rocky220

  • Swan
    I even wrote a DA letter first and they still announced it as a DF'ing.

    When I DA myself, I apparently didn't sign my letter. I wrote several letters that day to my family members explaining my decision to DA and several other issues in my life, so I may have not signed that particular letter.

    When an elder called, I told him that, yes, it was my letter. I offered to send them another letter and to be sure to sign it, but he said, no, don't do that. They kept wanting to meet with me and kept hinting that it wasn't so bad, yada, yada, yada. They would help me, yada, yada, yada. They had also been in contact with the CO and DO and had written some letters to Bethel.

    Well as it suited me to spend a little more time with my family to help them see my point of view, I went along with it. It bought me some time. After about 5 or 6 weeks of jerking me around, they finally conference called me, asked me point blank, and I told them I no longer wanted to be a Jehovah's Witness.

    I don't know what they told the congregation. DA or DF, I really didn't care. I just knew that I didn't want to be a JW anymore, and whatever they did about it was beyond my control. It was stressful enough as it was. I was tired of their Kangaroo Court rules and petty ploys to control my life. I think it really bothered them that I didn't let it bother me.

    So I would suggest to you and others who may be faced with this during the holiday season, that you just let them do what they want and so no interest or concern about it. Just tell them, "Whatever!" It really pisses them off and helps you keep your sanity through the whole thing.


  • M-J

    Thanks Big Tex

    Yeah although I have been out for a number of years now, my parents, brother and sister are still JW, my dad is the PO of the congregation.

    When I was DF'd 2nd time around I was 18, and moved out of home and got my own place shortly after.

    I remember being at my parents home not long after being DF, talking to my sister, my Dad walked in, saw me talking, and boomed "What's this happy families?" and stormed off, chance would be a fine thing eh.

    Whilst I wouldn't say I am completely cut off from them, but my contact with my parents is merely a token thing, my sister and her husband however, are a little less narrow minded, and I am in contact with them still.

  • justhuman

    Yes you can

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