by SpannerintheWorks 60 Replies latest jw friends
Having my former best friend try to set me up, getting enough info to start a JC on me, because I badmouthed an "anointed" (anointed my ass) brother when he needed a good dressing down.
Also, all of the little Napoleans and worthless elders wives-
and, perhaps because during the six final years of my youth, I contemplated suicide almost every day.
Perhaps raping me of my youth, and my realization of it?
ash
I was in third grade. My best friend Jimmy was having a birthday party and my mother sent in a note to the teacher asking if I could "please go to the library during the party." Just as luck would have it, the library was located directly opposite of my classroom. I remember clearly put my Jane Eyre novel down (I always read depressing books to perhaps make me feel better ) and I pressed my face up against the glass window of the library and watched the festivities going on across the hall. I felt very strongly that it wasn't right and I vowed that I would leave when I could (which I did) and never subject my child to the humiliation and embarassment I had to endure that day.
BTW, my teacher mangaged to smuggle over a cupcake Thanks Mrs. Appleyard!
1-LIES 2-FALSE DOCTRINES 3-HYPOCRISY 4-1975-FIASCO 5-ELDERS STALKING MY HOUSE 6-TOTAL DISCONNECT WITH REAL LIFE 7-FALSE PORTRAYAL OF A GOD WHO SUPPOSE TO BE LOVE. 8-JUST TO THINK ABOUT THEM IN GENERAL, GIVES ME GAS. :) ............................................ROCKY220
Thinking, thinking and thinking. I had stopped attending meetings due to personal depression and lonliness. I was already all but out of the truth, but then 9/11 happenned and I thought, I cannot hardly deal with the emotions of watching these two trade center buildings be destroyed and 6000 people involved ( I guess now the death toll for 9/11 is between 3 and 4 thousand people) I had nightmares and was uneasy and crying over songs, reports etc. for months. Then I thought about the fact that this is what I was working for, praying for, that not just two buildings collapse but that every building and billions of people be destroyed. Whatever God does in the future or allows to happen is not my place to decide, but I cannot look forward to that and I know I would not be smiling and laughing and rejoicing the day after. Not after what we all went through, it became a reality then not just a picture in a book. I had decided to stop attending meetings and was inactive long before but that was the straw that made me decide that my inactivity would be permanent. Then having active Witnesses tell me that I was weird for dwelling so much on the event and basically that I should move on, after all they will be resurrected if in Jehovah's memory. Tell that to the little six year old whose Daddy didn't come home that day. That was really the nail in the coffin for me. The whold 1914 generation new light thing didn't exactly strengthen my faith in the org. either.
The Bulgarian Blood Compromise stunned me. I talked to some higher up types in the Society about it and got the
runaround. It finally hit me that the organization is a fraud , run by elderly liars.
metatron
Can someone point me to the Bulgarian Blood Compromise info.
This site has an article about the Bulgaria-blood issue:
http://watchtower.observer.org/
Just click on the "blood" link from the homepage and scroll down a ways till you see the article.
As far as the thread topic goes, it was a borg-drone-Society-Man JW elder who has never in his entire life had even a thought that contradicted JWism telling me that I was a "spiritual babe". He said this very emphatically, like he was angry with me. At that point I knew that I was never going to be a true-believer JW. I attended 1 or 2 meetings after that, but I knew I was done with JWism.
When my first child (of four) was born and my brother called me up for his 'attempt to help me see the light again' and said to me, and I quote, "You know Brad, you are the head of the household and if you don't get re-instated Brandon will die at Armageddon".
My wife had been re-instated already but you know the structure that the dubs believe in......... the man is the head. It made me realize that the God that they believe in is so cruel that it actually harms them spiritually. I had and still have more faith in myself and what each of choose to look to as being the "Higher Power".
I still really feel sad for the dubs because no matter how cruel they can be to us on the outside, their own spirituality is lacking tremendously.
Brad
I stumbled upon the web site 587vs607BCE in July of 2001, I did some research of my own and determined that 607BCE was not the correct date which meant 1914 was wrong. This gave me the courage to read some other web sites and then I orderded the book C of C and after I was 1/2 throught that, It was all over. I knew it was all a lie and I was devastated that I could have allowed myself to be so decieved. The last meeting I attended was last years memorial and that was only to save face for my kids had not left yet. Currently my husband, children and I are all being shunned and we were never officially df'd or never da'd.
For me it was the dateline program on the sex abuse cases. Prior to the program i had started to drift. The repetition of the mind numbing material. I had started to feel we were being brainwashed. My work got in the way of meetings and i felt very conflicted, then angry when my po told me to quit my job. I hated field service with a passion always did. Jehovah will provide he told me. Quit my work i don't think so. I drifted for around a year then the dateline story broke. After that program i found freeminds. I am so grateful for this website it validated many of my feelings that i could not speak about to anyone, i also had lots of questions that i dared not ask. Thanks goes to Simon for this site.
p.s. I also got tired of the guilt and feeling no matter how much you did it was never enough. That you were not good enough. My last year in there i was very unhappy. Now i just feel outrage when i read about other peoples experiences.
