Stranger in my own house, Since my wife and i don't talk much anymore nor sleep in the same bed. i feel like a stranger.

by goingthruthemotions 61 Replies latest jw experiences

  • goingthruthemotions

    My wife is shunning me. she is always in cult mode, we don't talk anymore, we don't sleep in the same bed. i have been sleeping on the couch. when i get home from work, i go to another room and just get on my computer. our boys will come in and talk with me. she usually spends he time in our bedroom on her tablet. on the borg website. or studying magazines.

    Our sons see what is happening, this religion is tearing our family apart and she just doesn't care. i really don't know what she feels. maybe she is numb to the relationship now that i am viewed has an apostate. i just wish i could turn back time and never have gotten involved in this cult. Why did i ever do it???? why, why why !!!!!!

    things just are not going well and i just don't know what to do anymore. We have been together for 27 years, the last 7 years of which taken by this cult. and now it has taken my marriage. what do i do? just let it fall apart? i could never imagine my relationship going like this. I love her with all my heart!!!!!!!!!!!

    i just wish this cult would go away, i wish she would open her eyes and see how bad this cult is. i wish she could see how much more our family is than this cult. i wish upon a luck star....please grant my wish...please please please please please please .

  • cognac

    Omg, I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you. I completely understand your struggles and inner turmoil. I am so sorry....

    Theres been a lot of good advice on here about Steven Hassan's writings in dealing with this sort of situation. Hope it helps...

  • Ignoranceisbliss
    That sounds miserable. I'm not sure that I could stay in a situation like that. Is separation an option?
  • Sabin
    GTTM, this is terrible for you & for the kid's, are you sure there isn't more to it then just the cult? I'm sorry for asking, it's just that she has no ground's if she's serving God to do this to you, it's scripturally wrong. You have every right to sleep in your own bed. Have you tried to get back in tell her your not sleeping else where & give her a hug. Has she told you she no longer loves you? maybe you should ask her out right, & ask her where she wants to go from here. The longer you leave it the worse it's gonna get. You need to know where you stand man, or you will start to get sick. It kinda sounds like she wants you to commit adultery so she can get out without any blame. Hope I'm wrong mate but something smells off to me. Hope you got some friends you can go have a drink with. Big Hug. SABIN
  • Diogenesister
    So sorry 😢😢

    Is there ANY chance she will see a therapist with you?

    Could you write her a letter and tell her how much u love her (leave out the cult for now)

    Get into that family room! Be with your boys, dont hide away I am sorry for you but also for your boys! It must hurt them so much

    Could get the boys involved & ask for a compromise?? Some good family fun time in return you join her in a family worship night (no mags, just the bible jesus & love stuff, u just quietly being supportive - let the boys & your wife comment maybe u could do neutral stuff like read

    You got to share some physical contact, even just hugs something.... its a marriages (not so secret) weapon, u can express love without words when words don't work!!

  • the girl next door
    the girl next door

    I slept on the couch for the last 7 years of my 18 year marriage during my "fade". It became a battle of who would become "unfaithful" first. I won. But it wasn't worth it. Too much damage to 3 young children. Sit down and put it all on the table. If you can't stand to be next to each other, don't be next to each other.

  • James Mixon
    James Mixon

    Sabin: "are you sure there isn't more to it then the cult". That was the case with my ex-

    JW wife. She was always right.

  • stuckinarut2

    So sorry mate!

    But as others have said, DO NOT allow her to dictate the atmosphere in your home!

    You sleep in your own bed! If she is uncomfortable, let HER leave the room...

    DO not be on the back foot.

    Be kind and mild yes, but do not be bullied.

  • out4good4

    Looks like its time to play the headship card.....

    If she's as staunch a XX chromosome JW as she thinks she is, she'll have no choice but to agree.

  • wallsofjericho

    Sorry man, this is a rough place

    uoi called it though. She's numb.

    shes drawing closer to Borg and pushing you out. She probably feels as though YOU are ruining HER family

    at some point she'll begin getting advice on how to leave you.

    I suggest opening a safe deposit box and parking cash in there ASAP

    Use cash withdrawals at Walmart when you make a purchase to mask the withdrawals.

    Shell be getting LOTS of advice from professional divorces' on how to take you for everything soon enough if not already

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