Stranger in my own house, Since my wife and i don't talk much anymore nor sleep in the same bed. i feel like a stranger.

by goingthruthemotions 61 Replies latest jw experiences

  • KateWild
    KateWild

    GTTM,

    After 27 years I am so sorry you are going through this. It's nice to hear you still love your wife. If that's the case there is hope.

    I have faith in you GTTM, you will make this work. Go back to your bed now.

    Take care

    Kate xx

  • punkofnice
    punkofnice

    No, no, no! This is familiar to me. I guess your wife is just trying to make a point.

    I think it's time to put religion aside and go for getting things back on track.

    I don't know if you're both being stubborn or what.

    If she doesn't want to talk cult, then simply don't. Invite her to the cinema or something.....but don't, don't, don't get attracted to anyone else.

    If you still love your wife then waste no time in showing her that you're a human being without the cult stuff. She might be devastated that you're going to be lovingly murdered by Jehovah(tm) for not being a good little cultie.

    Just my 2 penneth. Of course, I could be talking nonsense here.

  • Witness My Fury
    Witness My Fury

    Print out your opening post and put it on the fridge for all to see.

    If it gets removed and nothing said about it put another copy up, repeat every day until you get a response you like.

  • Sofia Lose
    Sofia Lose

    It is not the cult, it is your wife.

    The cult clearly states that in a divided household, she is to continue wifely duties in every respect, including biblical respect towards the head of the household, you as the husband. It seems to me that perhaps you are just one of those weakling type hubbies that allows the woman to make the important decisions and take over. Well, it is time for an overhaul of sorts. Claim your rights and prepare for the outcome.

    SL

  • StarTrekAngel
    StarTrekAngel

    Ever since it became obvious that having woken up was going to be a problem, I have been reading the bible and trying to learn more. Boy have I stumbled into things most JWs read but never paid attention to.

    Most of us know that the only biblical bases for divorce is adultery but the WT society has chosen to add spiritual danger as another reason for divorce, despite the counsel found in the gospel. The gospel not only advices against leaving an unbelieving mate, it also estates that your children would be unclean if the unbelieving mate was not sanctified by the marital union.

    Another nice piece is in the story of the Israelites and the law. WT insists that the law is abolished but the principles survive. Speaking of the headership principle, there is an interesting piece in Numbers 30, in the first few handful of paragraphs. It speaks specifically to women who make a vow or pledge to Jehovah. Go ahead and read it for yourself but in a nutshell it shows that the husband or even the father of the woman (basically whomever owned her at the time) can forbid her from carrying thru with her pledge and she is legally free from it in front of God.

    Seems to me like is a very inconvenient "truth" for the WT to make members aware of this part of the bible.

  • cognac
    cognac
    It seems to me that perhaps you are just one of those weakling type hubbies that allows the woman to make the important decisions and take over.

    Wow, how f*cking rude and sexist.



  • StarTrekAngel
    StarTrekAngel

    It continues to amaze me that despite the overwhelming amount of experiences from this site and other sites, people continue to think that indoctrinated individuals are 100% responsible for their decisions. I would not go to the other extreme and consider they have zero responsibility but c'mon, lets not forget the amount of BS people swallow weekly at meetings. The conditioning and constant fear mongering.

    I even know individuals who have quit meetings and somewhat faded for no apparent reasons, yet the cling to the blood doctrine even when it means risking leaving young children behind to fend for themselves. You are going to tell me these parents are evil and are choosing to kill themselves without regard for their children? If the answer is no, then what is different in the case of his wife? What we need to remember in this fight is that half of the answers we get from our loved ones sound like they come from a WT magazine. As long as they sounds like so, then chances are they are not truly expressing themselves.

    My wife had said things to me in the past that honestly are hard to swallow. I would have preferred she would have said she was with another man, honestly. At least I could have blamed it on myself for not paying enough attention to her.

  • TheListener
    TheListener

    I'm really sorry to hear this GTTM. My situation isn't nearly to the point yours is but my wife hasn't had to face the fact that I'm apostate because we don't discuss it. I faded a long time ago.

    I don't think you should feel it necessary to sleep on the couch and avoid most of the household rooms because she is not willing to allow you to be your own person. You have a right to your personal beliefs and so does she. Neither of you should punish the other for personal beliefs. It's my opinion that you feeling uncomfortable and avoiding her around the house and in the bed won't make things better, they just stress you out. Perhaps you should try a different tactic? Maybe you should make dinner and tell everyone, including her, it's time to eat and have the kids help set the table. If she doesn't come or doesn't speak during dinner you and the kids have a conversation and talk and just go on with your normal lives as best as possible.

    That's just my advice but I don't know the details of your situation and I know it's so so so hard being in a house where you don't feel wanted.

  • Sofia Lose
    Sofia Lose

    When inside the cult, the woman shows deep respect for the husband. What this woman is doing does not agree with the cult's beliefs. This husband needs to take action and fully expect compliance.

    This no sex, sleeping on the couch, and all other disrespect has to go!!! Man up!!!

    SL

  • cognac
    cognac
    This husband needs to take action and fully expect compliance.
    Man up!!!

    What the hell? Stop being a b*tch to him. Who the hell do you think you are???


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