My biography.....

by digderidoo 23 Replies latest jw friends

  • digderidoo

    As the profile update is not yet working i've decided to post my biography so that you all know where i'm coming from. I've tried to keep it as simple as possible.

    I have known many previous incarnations. And some? I walked the earth as Nostradamus, Uther Pendragon, Count Cagliostro and Rodrigo Borgia, although not in that order. I speak seventeen languages, I have played darts with the Dalai Lama and shared my sleeping bag with Rasputin, Albert Einstein, Lawrence of Arabia and George Formby. I was worshipped as a god by an East Acton cargo cult and once scaled Everest in a smoking jacket and plus fours to win a bet with Oscar Wilde. I travelled to Venus in the company of George Adamski, reinvented the ocarina and was burned in effergy by The Chiswick Townswomens Guild. I am also an expert swordsman, a gourmet chef, a world traveller, poet, painter, stigmatist, lifestyle guru to the gurus and hater of Bud Abbot. I can open a tin of sardines with my teeth, strike a Swan Vesta on my chin, rope steers, drive a steam locomotive and hum all the words to the works of Jesus Jones without becoming confused or breaking down in tears. I won a first at Oxford, squandered three fortunes, made love to a thousand women, imbibed strange drugs, sold my soul for Rock 'n' Roll, almost pipped Einstein for the Nobel Prize, i've been banned from evert Chinese noodle parlour in West London, I am The Greatest Man That Has Ever Lived.


  • ozziepost

    Yeah, but can you rid the world of the Borg?

  • digderidoo

    lol...I'm good but i'm not that good ozzie!


  • Undecided

    I'm an old shit that's done nothing to speak of.

    Ken P.

  • undercover

    Yea, but have you spent 100 hours a month knocking on doors in 90+ degree heat while wearing a suit?

    How is that your living all these great past lives has led you to living a life dealing with a religious cult?

    Not that I'm doubting you. Just curious is all.

  • Sentinel

    Yes Dig, but who are you now?

  • hippikon
    I can open a tin of sardines with my teeth

    - Well thats an important life skill.

  • hippikon
    imbibed strange drugs

    IC - Now I know who you are - An escaped mental patient

  • xjw_b12
    I am The Greatest Man That Has Ever Lived.

    Holy Shit..........You're Jesus now. Is this the promised second coming ?

    imbibed strange drugs

    Obviously, it didn't affect your mind and your sense of humour....that was pretty friggen funny .

  • Guest 77
    Guest 77

    Thanks for the entertainment.

    Guest 77

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