Can somebody please help me with my problem? I have this boyfriend, who is on probation for drugs and kicking the crap out of one of his friends. He drug me down to KC with him & during that time my car broke down and so I have been sitting at his gay fathers house for 8 months without a car & job. I am jsut going to school online. Well, all my car needs is a transmission and my boyfriend hasn't even helped me. But when his car broke down, he goes out and buys a new camero. What about me? am I being selfish? I have been sittin around for 8 months without nothing just for him. He's the one who is suppose to be in trouble, not me, so why do I have to pay for it? It seems as though the evil people are the ones who get everything. My boyfriend was a drug dealer, he physically abused me, and I seem to be the one paying for it? I'm not jealous of his car, but I feel like he doesn't care about my needs. A person can only sit in a house so long before they go crazy! Any thoughts on this?
Selfish Mates
by Mercedes 12 Replies latest jw friends
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berylblue
Mercedes,
I don't think this is what you will want to hear, but you need to seriously think about this "relationship". I was married to such a man, and trust me, it only got worse as time went on. While it's wrong to say that a person will never change, the odds are that, without intervention of some sort, he will never change.
You sound powerless in this situation. I would try to find out what resources are available to you to help you get back on your feet and live the life you deserve to be living. If I can help, email me. [email protected]
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berylblue
Mercedes,
I don't think this is what you will want to hear, but you need to seriously think about this "relationship". I was married to such a man, and trust me, it only got worse as time went on. While it's wrong to say that a person will never change, the odds are that, without intervention of some sort, he will never change.
You sound powerless in this situation. I would try to find out what resources are available to you to help you get back on your feet and live the life you deserve to be living. If I can help, email me. [email protected]
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Valis
uh go to a women's shelter, tell em you need a bus ticket home...call it good...but in any case get out of an uncaring and what could resume being an abusive relationship. Do this for yourself...if you don't and remain complacent, then you can't complain about the result or your current situation. Sorry to be blunt, but it seems to me to be a bad situation for you and you haven't done much on your own behalf. Except going to school, which is laudable.....Not even stepped back and said "Whoa! What have I gotten myself into? And what will it take for me to be rid of this?"...Take some time to ask yourself what you want...if you love this person and they do not reciprocate, is it worth the emotional toll? Probably not..Be true to yourself and take care of your own interests for dog's sake!
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
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Dansk
Mercedes,
Berylblue's right. GET OUTTA THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!
You're much too nice a person to be involved with such a loser. He'll drag you down deeper and deeper for sure. Get out of the place and, if he really loves you, he'll clean up his act, put you FIRST, and do his utmost to win you over. If that doesn't happen, you're still the winner. There are plenty of other guys who'd die for someone as unselfish as you!
(((((((((((((HUGS APLENTY))))))))))))
Dansk
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gumby
My boyfriend was a drug dealer, he physically abused me, and I seem to be the one paying for it?
Just 3 words........Dump......his.....ass!
Nobody needs to be abused and the chances are he won't change the abuse part.
Gumby
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funkyderek
What about me? am I being selfish?
No, not at all. But you need to be.
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Realist
Mercedes,
if i remember correctly you asked a while back if you should leave him since he is beating you.
now this!
for christ sake LEAVE THIS BASTARD!!!! there are so many nice guys out there and you waste your life with this imbecile!
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Robdar
My boyfriend was a drug dealer, he physically abused me, and I seem to be the one paying for it? I'm not jealous of his car, but I feel like he doesn't care about my needs.
Mercedes, hun, you write the above sentence and you still have to wonder if he cares about your needs?
As somebody who is getting out of a 13 year abusive relationship, let me be the first to tell you, this man doesn't give a rat's ass about you. Wake up. Get out of there as fast as you can. I wish I had.
Is KC short for Kansas City? I am in Kansas City. Email me. [email protected]
Robyn
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calamityjane
Mercedes. Get the Hell out of there.
My ex-husband (an elders son) was like that. Thought of only himself. Gave me the bare necessities in life, when he'd go out with his buddies every Friday night drinking and carousing the town not coming in until 4 a.m. in the morning, sometimes not coming home at all. Only to find lipstick on his collar and him denying, denying, denying. I was with the sorry bastard for two years, I finally left him when I was five months pregnant.
Dump his sorry ass, you deserve better.