My fade might well start today.

by StarTrekAngel 29 Replies latest watchtower bible

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  Diogenesister

  Angel listen I didnt even get to the end of your post before I had to reply.

  Listen I don't know where you are but if you are in the US you need to get hold of Steve Hassans office. He can do whats called a "supervision" with your therapist.

  He obviously does not understand what he is dealing with here is a cult.

  Listen you wouldn't get a gynaecologist to give you brain surgery would you? Get yourself some specialist help to protect your family, do it asap ring Hassans office at least for a recommendation

  good luck sister D
• 

  StarTrekAngel

  LOL. About the lottery ticket, she is not like that. She just likes it. It's just funny that we just came back from discussing Christianity related issues and she jumps on a lottery ticket. She also won $300 in our last Vegas trip, while we were delayed at the airport.

  Diogenesister. I have contacted the Freedom of Mind foundation but have received no response from them.

  The therapist felt that we were ok on our own for now. He has not recommended any further sessions. I thought about having one more by myself just to get an assessment from him.
• 

  John Aquila

  From my standpoint, your situation looks pretty good. In other words there is hope.

  My ex-wife would not compromise for anything. She was a hard core pioneer. She would have never bought a lottery ticket just because the WT said it was wrong. She would have never agreed to therapy. She would have called the elders for action immediately if I outright said I didn’t believe in the WT anymore. All I said was, “The Blood doctrine has changed” and she was out the door after 25 years.

  So to me, you situation looks pretty promising that she will wake up.

  Good luck!
• 

  Xanthippe

  we had an almost perfect marriage. Almost 17 years of honeymoon.

  That's quite some track record of married bliss StarTrekAngel. Don't give up yet. Hopefully your love for each other and your girls will get you through this. Perhaps she does mean it that she will let you fade, perhaps she's a pragmatist.
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  Finkelstein

  Congratulations StarTrekAngel for taking the first steps out of ignorance fear and superstition.
  
• 

  StarTrekAngel

  Oh I do believe she means it. But I am not fully convinced of is that she is considering all the consequences. She doesn't think there is going to be any outsider inflicted friction in our marriage. I tell her that people are going to start looking at her with pity and begin to act accordingly. She says she doesn't care. It would not be the first time she says she doesn't care of what others think of her... that is until she does.

  I Don't know, may be she's grown an even thicker skin since the last time it happened. She almost pushed us to stop certain sexual practices because a couple friend gave her some "bible based counsel". She had already expressed openly to the sister that we did it all the time. Turns out the couple in question did feel guilty (ok, I admit it, is oral sex) when they gave in and did it. They felt miserable afterwords and cried every time. Finally my wife realized that misery was looking for company and was brought back to her senses.

  I did not sleep well last night so no meeting for me today. She asked me to please rest and not play with my iPad. I told her that not having to be there listening to the BS was restful enough. She took it surprisingly well.
• 

  DesirousOfChange

  From my standpoint, your situation looks pretty good. In other words there is hope.

  I agree. She doesn't not seem to be a devout JW fanatic who thinks you have been overtaken by SATAN!

  Baby steps. Baby steps.

  Doc
  
• 

  3rdgen

  I may not be understanding the whole picture here but I see her willingness to accompany you to therapy and "agreeing to disagree" as great. I don't know what more you could ask of a believing born in with friends and family still in.

  I am not sure of what you expected the therapist to say at her first session with your wife. Usually there is only time for the therapist to listen to the story and get a feel for the person and the situation.

  My advice would be to hold to your decision to fade. At this point back off trying to convince her of TTATT. Offer her extra love, attention, and FUN. If and only IF she gives you a hard time about leaving remind her of her words to the therapist where she agreed to disagree. Then......

  Accept her right to believe and ENJOY the rest of your life!
• 

  OneEyedJoe

  Oh I do believe she means it. But I am not fully convinced of is that she is considering all the consequences. She doesn't think there is going to be any outsider inflicted friction in our marriage. I tell her that people are going to start looking at her with pity and begin to act accordingly. She says she doesn't care. It would not be the first time she says she doesn't care of what others think of her... that is until she does.

  One thing that my therapist (more subtly than I'm going to be) often points out is that it's not really that worthwhile worrying about the possible negative consequences in cases like this. You need out of this cult. You're going to get out of this cult. Your wife says she's ok with it. Get out of the cult and if there's problems that come up between you and your wife contrary to what she says, you'll deal with it. Expecting problems can sometimes create them, and since there's not much you can do about it until it comes up, best case you've just stressed yourself out for nothing.

  Take it or leave it. While your situation is certainly unenviable and something that nobody should have to endure, it actually sounds like you've got a great chance of things working out pretty well. Your wife doesn't seem to be nearly as phobic and mind-controlled as many, which means there's a reasonable chance that merely showing her the way you may lead her out.
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  StarTrekAngel

  Thanks all for the advice. I will carefully consider it.

  Kids are the biggest worry. The therapist didn't really go there. I can't stand seeing her chastise them every time they turn their heads away from the bible or the platform.