Many here whom have read my previous posts know more or less my situation. Wife is not hardcore but we still bump heads from time to time. If it wasn't for this cult, and while it was not an issue, we had an almost perfect marriage. Almost 17 years of honeymoon. I grew frustrated of our constant disagreement, I began to fill the picture of what the WT wishes to put on all apostates. Angry, disgruntled, started spilling into work. I went to look for help with a therapist. After a couple of sessions, she came along with me yesterday.
The therapist I picked claims to have a background in spirituality, so I figure that would be a good thing, since I have no agenda. If my wife chooses to still believe in the promises of the WT that is ok. Such does not actually mean supporting the organization thru other means (financial, time, preaching, etc). This therapist will be more likely to respect belief without necessarily taking a bias. But more than anything, I was trying to find ways to cope with the slow process of disagreeing on such fundamentalist belief. For those who have read or participated in my previous threads (specially regarding respect for the belief of others, please understand the context of my previous post. I am talking about a family relationship here, not an opinion forum).
Well, to my dismay, I feel the therapist made a whole 180 degree turn on me. The first two sessions I was there alone. We discussed the cult and the basis for our disagreement. He claims not to be all that familiar with JWs but admits having worked with some in the past and also admits that the believing partner seldomly accepts to participate (because of the WT advice against worldly advice). We discussed the reason of my awakening and the reasoning that proof the lies and deception spread by the org. We briefly discussed my wive's upbringing and the family issues and traditions. I warned him that my wife will say that she has already proposed to disagree and that she will respect my decision to part from the org but that at the same time she will refuse to accept there will be consequences. She thinks some of the consequences suffered by other ex-members only apply to their personal situation or their bitterness. In a nutshell, our story will be different from that of others. She feels very much capable of distinguishing the bad from the good. If the elders ever attempt to stick their nose into it, she will notice and take action. I am not so sure of that.
Fast forward to yesterday, the described above happened to the letter. I am almost feeling like she preached to him and he almost listened. Not that he will be a convert, no, no where near that. But despite my previous warnings to him regarding the loaded language and its twisted meaning, her speech sounded to him like I have nothing to worry about.
At the end, we agreed to disagree.... for now that is. She explained to him that nothing tied me to the org, not even her. That she won't look or treat me any different if I decided to quit and I did not have to even admit to the reasons. She told him I could write a letter or not. That some people simply fade out. Funny side note, right after we stepped out, she bought a lottery ticket.
This might well be the beginning of the end. I am not sure on how to approach it. I can not conceive the idea of staying home while my kids (two girls ages 12 and 7) are getting indoctrinated weekly. I need to stay on top of what they are being told and I need to shield them from the starving pioneers that, in a need of hours, will look at them like orphans and try to start a study with them. They have already made the attempt once, even with me present and in a seemingly good spiritual health. What can I expect now?