I just got off the phone with Cruzanheart.
She told me about someone I knew that passed away. I don't remember her very well, but I remember she was very nice and very humble. This isn't the issue though.
The issue is in this conversation, my desire to attend the funeral is because I have missed so many others (funerals) I cared about who were older have passed and I never knew they were gone.
During this conversation, I found out a person who was sooooooo nice and caring to all the kids in the cong has passed a long time ago, and I just found out. You know the type........the older---grandma type in the cong who would give out candy to all the kids, and just loved the attention of us all crowding around her to get the lastest treat. We all loved her anyways. Even when she didn't have the candy that day, me and my sister would always say hello to her.
She was so nice and sweet, I have thought about her over the yrs and wondered how she was doing, or if she was still living.
Well, I found out today, she has been gone for quite a few yrs.
I am crying and I can see her face in my mind. I loved her so much, and I have always missed her. I have driven by her house before to say my silent hello, since I couldn't knock on the door and say hi since I am df'd.
But to now know she is gone, I am crying and hurt alot. I want to go visit her grave site. Is this stupid??? Even though I know she wouldn't talk to me cause I am df'd, is it crazy or dumb to go and say my "good-bye"?
I would like you all's opinion.