I'm so glad I was never a elder, now that I'm awake I would beat myself up and be forever emotionally wrecked if some poor bastard committed suicide after I DF them.
To all former Elders – what are your thoughts
When I asked them to forgive me, both of them were good. They have moved on with their lives and are doing well. I guess I did them a favor!
For 20 plus years I was a serious, die hard elder. I worked hard at my elder "job" of setting a good example for family and congregation. Spent way too many hours away from my kids so I could prepare for meeting and talks. Sat in on many jc's but only agreed, reluctantly, to df one person. Because I was a contrarian during jc proceedings, always looking for the reason not to df, I was later on often not selected to be on the jc. praise jah! The endless meetings, after the meeting, really got to me. I could never do enough so I always felt a bit guilty and unfulfilled.
Fortunately I discovered ttatt and ended nearly 60 years of f.o.g. Life is good outside of the borg and at least I get to enjoy my grandchildren!
I had experienced the humiliation of a JC as a defendant long before I became what you all call a "Judge". I never thought of myself as a judge. I sincerely met with people to help them. The only people we disfellowshiped during a committee were folks who were convinced they wanted to continue doing what they were doing, drugs, drunkenness to the point of hurting and putting others in physical danger or the like. Even at that I only ever DF'd 2 people. One was a drunk who beat his wife and I discovered had been "reproved" at least 10 times in six years for it by his elder father and pals on the elder body. And a 30 year old meth addict who refused to get help repeatedly. I tried to get him in rehab on three occasions and he was kicked out once and lied about going two other times. He was a danger to himself and others. He was arrested for a DUI on drugs not booze. So, no guilt. Many, many private reproofs and efforts to get people help. I was a newer elder who came in trying to be Jesus instead of Paul. It lead to my departure when I found I was surrounded by Pilates and Judas'.
Some really great experiences. Thank you for sharing.
Are there any other former elders willing to share their experiences?