I will tell you the truth because I do not tell lies and am always honest. In May 2006 I was diagnosed with Bipolar. My wife separated from me against my will. We were separated for about 3 years. I begged her to come home but she would not let me. One day I committed adultery with my next door neighbour. It wasn't something I planned or set out to do, It just happened. I regretted it straight the way because I knew my wife Samantha would divorce me if I told her. About a week later, 2 elders arranged a meeting (a Saturday) for me and my wife. After about an hour I plucked up the courage to admit to the elders and my wife that I had committed adultery. My wife immediately raised her eyes to heaven and said thank you Jehovah. To me, that shows she was looking for an excuse to get out of the marriage.
On the Monday morning she was down the solicitors seeking a divorce. To me I had 2 choices. To hide my adultery and keep my wife or confess and lose my wife. I chose to confess because my relationship with Jehovah was more important to me than the relationship with my wife. On the following Wednesday (2nd June 2010, which was our wedding anniversary) I was summoned to a judicial committee with 4 elders. I didn't say much during the meeting because I was still in shock for what I had done. I think the elders thought I wasn't sorry and wasn't repentant so they disfellowshipped me.
1 John 1:19 says, If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. Proverbs 28:13 also says, Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy. That's what I did, I confessed my sin yet I wasn't forgiven. I don't understand why I was disfellowshipped even though I was very sorry. This is the problem, elders can't read hearts. I was at the Kingdom Hall when an elder announced it to the congregation that I was disfellowshipped. I was back at the Kingdom Hall the following meeting and went every time for 6 months. After this the elders came to see me and said they were not going to reinstate me. That really upset me so I gave up going to the meetings.
I have lost my wife, who I loved, my 3 children my dad and all my family and friends because of the cruel practice of shunning. I have been on my own for the past 13 years with only one friend to speak to. Disfellowshipping has destroyed my spirit and soul and I have also suffered from severe depression and rarely get out of bed. The elders knew I had a mental illness called Bipolar which can make people do reckless things. The elders showed no mercy and destroyed my life. To take away the children, family and friends from a mentally ill person, through the practice of shunning, is both cruel and barbaric which means savagely cruel.
King David committed adultery. Put Uriah on the front line of battle and and effectively murdered him then hid his sins from Jehovah which the prophet Nathan had to expose. Jehovah forgave David. Yes I committed adultery like David but I didn't murder anyone and I certainly didn't hide my sin from Jehovah. Why did Jehovah forgive David but not me? Does Jehovah have two sets of standards?
I still have a great love for Jehovah and have prayed to him regularly for the past 13 years for forgiveness. I think Jehovah would have forgiven me by now because of what it says at Psalm 103:14 which says, For he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. My discipline was not from Jehovah but from imperfect men, the elders, that are unable to read hearts. I thought the elders were supposed to visit disfellowshipped ones from time to time? So much for "searching for the lost sheep". My guess is, the elders just don't care.
Jesus never shunned anyone. If you remember, the Pharisees rebuked Jesus for eating a meal with sinners. Jesus responded by saying, It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick." In fact Jesus even spoken to Satan on one occasion, the greatest sinner of all. Shunning is cruel and barbaric which means savagely cruel. To me, shunning is a form of PSYCHOLOGICAL MURDER.