How do you deal with the emotions of waking up? ---my ramble -----

by Fognomore 22 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • nonjwspouse

    If it doesn't cause a rift with your wife, have your son come with you when volunteering.

    Also, make sure to carefully plant little seed in their minds, without ever mentioning the JW or WT. Use the examples of say, government and how wrong you think that certain thing is, or the media, or another religion, but it is an action that the JW or Watchtower, or GB uses. It will cause the cognitive dissonance in their minds to be strong, sometimes they will initially agree with your viewpoint, then stop talking. They recognize something, but not sure why sometimes, or sometimes if you are lucky they will actually recognize the JW equivalent action in the example.Once you see, (and you can actually see in the face,) the discomfort, it is time to stop and bring up some other subject . Otherwise it is too much.

    You are in the position of exposing your son to the world outside the JW so he can form opinions by actually seeing or experiencing things, such as how non-JWs can be truly kind and happy.

    Disclaimer- From a never has been, never will be JW, but married into a family of them with a fence sitting unbaptized husband.

  • DesirousOfChange

    When I discovered TTATT I became physically sick. When the first domino falls one's entire world comes crashing down. Little things had been building up for years before I had my "final straw" moment. I stopped. Everyone assumed I was "stumbled". As I discussed things with my wife I simply asked questions. Originally I sincerely was looking for the explanation, but when I realized there was not any legitimate answer, I just continue asking (and the STFU) to force her to try to come up with the "answer". Eventually she realized there were no answers either. In fact, she had never been as indoctrinated as I had been, and once the scaled dropped from her eyes, it was over.

    Baby steps, is my best advice. DO NOT UNLOAD EVERYTHING YOU HAVE LEARNED ON A LOVED ONE (or anyone). They have to progress at their own pace, but you can help by asking leading questions. But then SHUT UP! Don't say lots of negatives as that puts them on the defense. Let them struggle to find the answers.

    You have an 8 year old. You're still ;young enough to move on with your life. You are fortunate to not have given all of your best year to the Cult.

    Good luck!

    The greatest revenge is living a happy & successful life!

  • Solzhenitsyn

    How do you deal with the emotions of waking up?

    From personal experience, one way I would recommend: Therapy. Therapy with someone who incorporates EMDR into the sessions might do wonders for you. It's the same sort of thing combat vets deal with, PTSD and all.

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