Is this a place for children?

by xenawarrior 188 Replies latest jw friends

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  scootergirl

  utopian.......mother to mother, if my child was in a chat room, you knew she was young and you knew that at times that the talk wasn't appropriate for someone her age-would you turn away and not say anything? Would you not show concern? Good Lord.......don't you think that XW and I, both being mothers of girls the same age feel some sort of maternal instincts? If you would turn away.....shame on you! We were just showing concern for a young child. A CHILD! And for all you others that bawk at my concerns.....I can't believe that you think nothing of it! Would you carry on the same conversations face to face w/a child? There is a time and a place and I was just expressing concern over that.

  Now......to address your daughter's needs after leaving the borg.......my God, woman.......do you think her being unchaperoned in an adult chat room is the most healthy action for her? So many other healthier choices for you to help her make. She is a CHILD........she needs to be in an age appropriate situation.

  Anyone who has been on this board long, knows that daytime chat is completely different than nightime chat. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out. What you do w/your child is up to you.......what I do w/my child is up to me. BUT........I will not set back and not say anything. It is my opinion, I feel STRONGLY about it and am entitled to express it.

  BTW, your daughter WAS not attacked. You are probably dealing with emotions of a 12 year old......
• 

  scootergirl

  wildhorses wrote:

  Can't we just try to tone down the chat when the younger ones come in? I have no problem with that myself.

  I agree. Wouldn't it be nice if we knew when children are in the chat room? I was not aware until someone BESIDES this child mentioned it to me. The chat was not anything that wasn't appropriate at the time......nothing that she would have been uncomfortable. BUT.....there are times that that does happen. How about keeping your children there during the day? Avoid nightime when the possibilities of "adult conversation" are likely.
• 

  Uzzah

  Scooter:

  All you with maternal instincts, couldn't just tell the room to tone down the conversation while a minor was there? I don't see the problem?

  If someone wants to go into chat at any time fo the day at a discussion board for JW's and EXJW's for support or to share experiences or just chill why should they be confronted with sexual chat and innuendo?

  I don't think the issue is so much with the parents as it is with the inability or lack of desire of some to show respect for others.

  I have seen and heard of instances where people (active Witnesses) go into chat and start asking questions and are ignored due to the plethora of spankings and lap sitting going on. Again I am not against these things but is this the right venue for it? Even if one felt it was, why can't it be toned down based on who is in the room?

  I also don't think it is fair to belittle the emotions of a 12 year any more than it is to belittle the emotions of a 30 year old.
• 

  scootergirl

  You completely misunderstood my post.

  At the particular time your daughter was in there, the room did not need to be toned down. Talk was of war and such. There was another conversation about how long someone had been out of dubdom.

  My point is this..........the possiblity of night time chat being inappropriate for children is high. I simply asked her her age and commented my concern that this was the place for her. Plus, I am not your babysitter-it isn't my responsbility to tell the room to tone down because some adult decided to allow their 12 year old in there.

  To those that say........"the choice is up to mom......she knows her children"........to that I say boloney. If I saw a child in a situation where it could become inappropriate, I will express my concern.
• 

  xenawarrior

  Uzzah:

  It does raise the question, why or how does a religiously focussed discussion board end up being a venue more focussed on parties and sexual romps/flirtations. I am not saying these things are bad but is this really the place for them? Just thinking out loud.

  I agree it would be good for teens who are questioning to have a place they could talk. To those who might neglect or refuse to temper their chat, is it really that difficult to show some restraint when you know a child is listening? Just because we have the 'right' to do something, doesn't always mean it is the best idea to do so.

  The child in the chat room said this in another post:

  Hi I'm 12 turning 13 in a while

  She isn't 14. She is 12.

  The fact that I have difficulty with a 12 year old being in the chat room does not mean that I am more focused on parties or sexual romps/flirtations! The point is that I'm an adult and I should be able to feel free to discuss anything I wish to without tempering it at all at 9:30 on a weeknight. That makes me the bad guy?

  If the teens would like to have a place to talk- hey, I'm all for that. Let them set up an msn chat room for themselves. I think that would be really valuable for them to do so. It's a simple thing to do - folks here have done that when this chat room has been down.

  Utopian:

  First of all, I'm not sure why you feel the need to attack me. I'm voicing my opinion here and that is allowable, is it not? I made clear that what I was saying was MY OPINION.

  I don't feel superior to children- Just older. I'm an adult, they are children.

  Noone attacked your daughter in the chat room. If your daughter is having such an extreme reaction to what was going on in the chat room while she was there - that only makes my point about whether is appropriate for her to be there. I didn't "make her" feel any way at all- she chose to feel that way and that is something many adults have a hard time with-myself included at times. If this is the reaction she is going to have in an innocuous situation, how will she respond to things which aren't?

  XW
• 

  SLOAN

  I have no problem with toning down when JW's or young ones are in Chat either. But, how will we know if we aren't familiar with that individual. There are a lot of users and we can't possibly be expected to know everyones religious background or their ages. Maybe someday someone will create a forum that is "all things to everyone" but until then; we have to try to all get along!!

  Xena,

  I agree with you.

  Utopian,

  I'm sorry that you and your daughter where hurt and hope that you will reconsider leaving the board.
• 

  SLOAN

  WOW,

  While I was posting my last comment 5 others got posted. I just wanted to say that I totally agree with BOTH Scoot and Xenawarrior. I also think the kids creating their own chat room is a great idea. Then ADULTS don't get accused of being a bad influence or corrupting them.
• 

  SLOAN

  WOW,

  While I was posting my last comment 5 others got posted. I just wanted to say that I totally agree with BOTH Scoot and Xenawarrior. I also think the kids creating their own chat room is a great idea. Then ADULTS don't get accused of being a bad influence or corrupting them.
• 

  Uzzah

  XW:

  The fact that I have difficulty with a 12 year old being in the chat room does not mean that I am more focused on parties or sexual romps/flirtations! The point is that I'm an adult and I should be able to feel free to discuss anything I wish to without tempering it at all at 9:30 on a weeknight. That makes me the bad guy?

  You have that right as an adult, but again I ask the same question, namely is this the place for all such conversations considering the purpose of this board?

  You also quote but missed my last point apparently,

  Just because we have the 'right' to do something, doesn't always mean it is the best idea to do so.

  I wasn't in chat at the time, but if a room full of adults cannot show some empathy to a 12 (or 14 or 16 year old) who is obviously posting here for a reason, and give them a listening ear of some support (regardless of the time of day) I simply do not understand the adults in that situation.

  You say these teens can go make their own forum. That could be turned around, to say why can't the afdults who want a social forum create their own chat area for that? It sounds to me like Utopian's child wanted to use a chatroom advertized on a support board for support. How dare she.

  Uzzah

  PS - I have visited chat during the day and it isn't much different, so time of day is a strawman

  [added by edit] the above being said, a separate chat for teens might not be a bad idea tho by their target audience have often become an online attraction to pedophiles so an "adult Chat" if really necessary for a board of this type might be the better option.
• 

  BeautifulGarbage

  the possiblity of night time chat being inappropriate for children is high

  I would just like to make a point, then I'm outta here.

  People also need to remember that it's not "night time" for everyone at the same time. When it's night time, here, it can be "daytime" for those across the pond and in Australia.

  Same if someone were to live in Hawaii. It may be 9:30 pm on the east coast, but it's only 3:30 pm there.

  That is all.

  Andee