Living a lie?

Victorian sky

I've been inactive for several months. I know it's not the truth and mentally I've walked away. But is that enough? Would it be living a lie to remain inactive? I hate the thought of being a hypocrite and I want the freedom to believe and do what I want. I don't want to be looking over my shoulder wondering if anyone is looking (I've voted in the last 2 elections!) I'm also repulsed by the things the WTS has done and I don't want any part of it. But I don't want to hurt/lose my family or close friends. I know you all can't tell me what to do but did anyone else struggle with this question? Would it be living a lie if I don't Disassociate myself? Please help! - Victorian Sky

jgnat

I don't think you are lying to yourself. You know you are your own person and what you want to do with your life.

JT makes the excellent point that by formally disassociating yourself, you are feeding right in to the WT's hands. Such a letter is written proof that you are voluntarily leaving their organization, and they are therefore not responsible for any nasty shunning that might happen to you afterwards. It is a matter of legal liability to them. They do not care a whit about you personally.

You know, most associations, clubs, and religions do not have a formal exit policy. When you leave, you just stop paying any dues and don't show up any more.

What does that tell you about the WT's obsession with Disassociation and Disfellowshipping? Also, there are some immediate and dire consequences for you if you have any loved ones still in.

Nikita

I don't think you are living a lie, you just walked away. You made up your own mind, if you feel confident that you made the right decision, you don't owe them any explanantion. They have no power over you!

As for me, I just walked away, but then the elders chose to announce that I had "disassociated" myself by my actions. (which happened to be my marrying a non-believer.)

I wish you the best!

Nikita

RunningMan

The "shunning" game only works as long as people are willing to abide by its childish rules. The more people who simply ignore it, the weaker it will become.

You are not being untrue to yourself by simply walking away. In a way, you are making a more forceful statement than if you formally resign. By walking away, you are telling them that you not only do not belong to their organization anymore, you are also telling them that they have no claim on you at all. Walking away pisses on all of their rules, including their exit ones.

Victorian sky

Thank you both for your insight. Dansk said it wouldn't be living a lie it would be just living. Nikita, yes I know I made the right decision. Sorry about what happended to you. Can they do that? DA you for marrying someone outside the borg? That's awful.

Victorian sky

Running Man, Thanks Pissing on their rules, I like that!

RAYZORBLADE

V-Sky, I can relate. I have been there.

Mind you, each person has unique and specific circumstances, but the basic similarities are still there, and having been a Jehovah's Witness, we have plenty in-common.

I really like what Running Man wrote:

The "shunning" game only works as long as people are willing to abide by its childish rules. The more people who simply ignore it, the weaker it will become.

A huge issue for many of us, let me tell you. But his words are so bang on!

You'll get more honest and truthful association here, and you won't be shunned.

I hope you'll find comfort here. Please continue to share with us, we're eager to get to know you. Best wishes!

metatron

Turn in an hour on your field service report every other month or so.

That way, you're still fighting them from the inside - because you add to the pile of evidence

that their statistics are lies, bogus puffery.

metatron

cruzanheart

Be true to yourself. I prefer to just be inactive because I don't want them to have the upper hand by gleefully ordering people not to talk to me. Others prefer to make a definite statement of separation. It's up to YOU (and isn't that a nice change from having to do everything by committee?).

Nina

bittersweet

I have been inactive for a few years now.As much as I would like to disassociate myself,it's not worth losing my family over.It's kinda funny though....I haven't been to a meeting in almost 5 years,but I have never been shunned.I ran into an elders wife the other day in a store,and she gave me a big hug! LOL If only she new what I really think about the religion!

Living a lie?

Share this