by Victorian sky 28 Replies latest watchtower scandals
no clear-cut answer. it is a matter of personal conscience. i gather that disassociating today means something different than what it did when i da/d many years ago. when i did it it was my statement against the wts. i was making a public statement that i was shunning them.
good luck with whatever you decide.
Victorian Sky..I've been out, 15 years in November, and I am still a baptised member of JWland...they never came to DF me so, I guess I have been living a lie a long time. I am w/JT on this one and I also have another story to relay...Don't give them the power to do anything to you...that is living the real lie. As well, when I became a Godfather (you may now kiss the ring), I was concerned about having to get baptised again...yuck I'm thinking right? Well the Episcopalian Bishop of Baltimore and I were sipping some sherry at his house and I bought my concern to his attention...the conversation went something like this..
Bishop: So, you don't want to take communion, and you are already baptised?
Valis: Uh no, I don't hold to any religious belief really, but for Katie I'll do whatever I have to..
Bishop: Well baptism is really the only requirement..
Valis: Well I am technically baptised...
Bishop: Oh, when and by whom?
Valis: When I was 14 by the Jehovahs Witnesses
Bishop: (Wry smile) I take it you are no longer a Witness?
Valis: (laughing) How could you tell?
Bishop: Well, not to worry. The Jehovahs Witnesses would like to think they own the right of baptism, but no one does except, God, Jesus Christ..blah blah blah...
End result: I was all good cuz even though I wasn't a JW or Episcopalian, I had done the one thing that was seen by him as a universal token...not something that any entity other than his god granted validity to...
I guess what I'm trying to say that even though being a JW has made you who you are...you are the sole arbiter of your destiny and to once again get into their delusional mix grants them authority over your life period...Just be happy and know that all those JWs out there wish the could still be baptised and be free at the same time...*LOL*
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
Thank you all for your replies. ((Valis)) - Isn't it amazing that baptism is supposed to be the most important step of your life, more so than marriage, but they allow children as young as 8 to make a life long decision! You were 14,(I was 16) Then when you grow up they hold you to it. Crazy. ((Rayzor)) - thanks. It's something to think about - why should I let them have authority over me? Why follow their rules when it's my life?
Victorian, I have been wondering the same thing lately, and though I am not yet technically inactive (I stopped reporting time after Nov '02), I have thought about DAing. In some ways, it would achieve my objective of not being bothered any more by elders and other jws, but on the other hand, I do have family in the .org, and why make things hard in that respect?
Bittersweet, I would guess your situation is a pleasant exception, because normally, the shunning starts when we miss meetings for a while.
Victorian Sky:
Would it be living a lie if I don't Disassociate myself?
Depends on whose perspective you are looking at it... if you look at it from a JW perspective then yes, you are living a lie. But you're not really a JW any more.... so it's only a lie if you feel that way. I agree with Rayzorblade on this one.
Valis:
End result: I was all good cuz even though I wasn't a JW or Episcopalian, I had done the one thing that was seen by him as a universal token...not something that any entity other than his god granted validity to...
When I joined the Episcopal Church my vicar asked if I was baptized, and I gave him the same answer, "By the JWs at age 14." He looked at me and said solemnly, "That doesn't count." I was rebaptized as a real Christian and that was a much more joyful day then my WTS dunking.
That is not to say that I believe that any one faith has the monopoly on baptism or anything else. But it was much more meaningful because I was baptized without an organization in the middle.
It's a personal decision for everyone. You must do what you and your loved ones can live with.
For me I have chosen to fade simply because I don't want to loose contact with my family that is still in. My Mom is in and not in the best of health on top of that she cares for my younger sister who is in and I don't want to cause any undue harm to them by grieving over the loss of me, in a spiritual sense. At least this way they still have hope for me.
I agree with what jgnat says:
You know, most associations, clubs, and religions do not have a formal exit policy. When you leave, you just stop paying any dues and don't show up any more.
I just don't show up!
also:
JT makes the excellent point that by formally disassociating yourself, you are feeding right in to the WT's hands. Such a letter is written proof that you are voluntarily leaving their organization, and they are therefore not responsible for any nasty shunning that might happen to you afterwards. It is a matter of legal liability to them. They do not care a whit about you personally.
Why play their game? It gives the assumption that you believe their policies are right, IMHO.
rocketman, right on with what you said:
Bittersweet, I would guess your situation is a pleasant exception, because normally, the shunning starts when we miss meetings for a while.
This is exactly the reason I decided the JW's weren't the "true religion", "because of the love among themselves"...... I just didn't feel the love for years before I finally left, it was also something my kids complained about all the time I just chalked it up to "the teen years" syndrome......sheese!
Valis!!:
Valis: Uh no, I don't hold to any religious belief really, but for Katie I'll do whatever I have to..
MOI?? Sorry hun, but I am an ever devoted TRUE DECIPLE OF ONAISIM! You are too funny!
Victorian sky,
It's something to think about - why should I let them have authority over me? Why follow their rules when it's my life?
it seems you have come to some conclusion it is your life, you call the shots not some B'orginization!
BTW welcome to the board, I look forward to hearing more from you.
Katie
Hello, Vic sky. I am in a similar position, having "Mentally walked away" (I like that expession). - but I still attend quite often, to support my wife and keep us doing at least something together.
I do not feel a hypocrite because the meetings are open to all, and I merely sit and [sometimes] listen . As a matter of principle I never answer up and I cannot sing the songs . The words would stick in my throat.
I do not agree with pretending to engage in field service, that would be hypocracy. Any way the elders never bother me. Nowadays, trying to get an elder to do any shepherding is a major task.
There are many ,many of us on line in the same position . I feel that I am in control because I do things on my own terms, and have no intention of dissassociating myself.
Bluesbrother, I feel for you sitting through all those meetings, does your wife have any idea how you feel about the borg? Purple V - Thanks, that makes sense, I'm not a JW anymore and thank God for that! So why think like one? I know it takes time to shake off all the old beliefs but I'm determined to try, Thanks again to everyone for sharing their experiences and insight. I really appreciate it.
Dear Vic: What lie? Being an active J-dud and supporting their delusion is living the lie. Many of the members 'know' it is BS. They go along anyway, they are the losers.
I didn't care and kicked those J-duds in the shins, but that's my style. They were going to DF me for a little incident regarding the virtue, or lack there of, of a certain sister. I wrote the Baptisim Nullification letter, raised hell, and they DA'd me as an unbaptized publisher. If they had not started the investgation process I would not have moved on them first.
Hold your hand close, only make a move if they target you. Maverick
Different people choose different paths......
Some people like the closure they get from d/aing......lol a few posters have gone out with a BANG! Some get d/fed and have no say in the matter...and still others manage to sucussfully drift and do so for various reasons....
Chose what works for you....the important thing is you are OUT! Quit worrying and enjoy life
