Yes. I probably did but can't quit remember....I have nothing to hide anymore. Call me Paul or if on FB Poalo.
Has anyone on here used this forum to announce they were out and revealed their real name?
Why keep playing their game and giving tacit approval to the awful things they do by failing to take a stand? Why show them that they can get away with anything they want and you'll keep trying to appease them like an abuse victim? You took a stand when you went in, why not take one when you leave? Why do people continue to live without true freedom because they let fear of rejection keep them from writing a simple letter, playing all types of mental games to justify their inaction?
Take whatever stand you want. To thine own self be true while the cowards judge you.
IMHO you can do more good for other borderline jw's by staying on the "sidelines" so to speak and throw your jabs in at the opportune time. I seriously thought about what you are contemplating because my insides were screaming out "fucking cult has ruined my life". But then I settled down and am now enjoying being an inactive jw that has free access to my jw friends, my worldly friends, R rated movies, an occasional cigar. and zero feelings of guilt. Sort of the best of both worlds and I seem to be making a lot of progress with my jw friends as I cautiously point out the obvious shit within the wt.
Becoming a ranting and raving exjw doesn't accomplish much to help those still trapped inside! IMHO that is!
Leave however you want DA DFed or fade.
Playing by their rules or not, I choose to DA myself.
Why? It had nothing to do with "their rules."
It had to do with the fact that I had (publicly) joined their stupid organization/club at 17 years old by being baptized. Whether I was brainwashed or not, forced in to it or not, it happened.
Since I publicly entered this club, I decided to publicly announce to the world I was leaving it. No I was not kicked out of their club.
I told the world publicly I kicked them out of my life.
"Ranting and raving exjws", some of you sound just like them. The reality isn't that those that refuse to leave are necessarily cowards as I posted above for affect, just like the reality is that those that disassociate aren't the people you all make them out to be. If you don't have what it takes to disassociate that's cool, but why the labeling of those that do? The black and white thinking of those decrying disassociation is what I was parroting above.
By the way, you're not going to wake up people on your way out, nor will you by staying in. It can happen but doesn't often. People wake up because they're ready. You can be there for them, but you don't have to be passive in staying inside to do so.
The narratives of disassociation by those discouraging it are bullshit. The same people decrying it as "playing their game" are often her whining about the games they have to play by fading. Are there people that regret disassociating? Sure. But focusing on the few regrets over the majority that have no such regrets is ridiculous. The desire to paint people a certain way by projecting your own stuff is very human, but not productive. Disassociating was our way to stop playing the game, to end it and to remove that awful label and everything Jehovah's Witnesses stand for off of us. I would hate to be mistaken for one.
Disassociate or don't but don't ask others how to live your life. And if you can't be supportive of someone's decision, why discourage people?
In the black crab story when one tries to leave the bucket they've been collected in the others pull it back down. Why? Because if that one has what it takes to leave why can't they? So they discourage it from doing something they aren't ready for. A lot of people sound like they're still in the bucket.
If you want to stay in the bucket, by all means do so. But don't mislabel and miscategorize those that get out just because you chose a different path.
There are pros and cons to various paths. Weigh them for yourself. I have respect for people that leave in any capacity but I have little respect for those that use their path as a way to put down or discourage others. My post above was trying to reflect the others here. It's easy to label others who make decisions different to yours. It's harder to respect everyone's right to autonomy, the very thing we're supposed to get in leaving a cult.
I was asked about many posts I had made on a forum with discussions of Jehovah's Witnesses, by two men I once believed were brothers of mine, who were investigating allegations of apostasy that had been leveled against me. I asked them for the provenance of the sheaf of printed pages they offered and what it was that made them believe I had written them.
They told me that they weren't going to discuss with me how they came by them, they simply wanted to know whether I was willing to claim them as my own expressions. I told them I wasn't willing to discuss with them pages they had printed out from online sources, but that I would be happy to discuss with them what I thought about any issue they wanted to raise with me. They left me with the impression they intended to convene a Judicial Committee to disfellowhip me (no, I spelled it right), so, I disassociated myself. I just learned the term today, but I am POMO. Very, exceedingly, extremely, o-u-t ... in more ways than just a few. 🏳️🌈
... doesn't accomplish much to help those still trapped inside! IMHO that is!— eyeuse2badub
eyeuse2badub, if I consider my life, time, and energy spent as one of Jehovah's Witnesses to have been wasted on far worse than nothing at all, why would I escape only to spend considerable life, time, and energy on the cultish religion I left, rotting like a diseased corpse behind me?
At first, I thought I might be able to get my wife out (now ex-wife) and I held out some hope I might be able to get my parents out, so I tried (unsuccessfully) to fade. That failed.
Once upon a time, in my life, I was on a quest to save the whole world of "ungodly mankind" from nothing much at all by convincing them to become a part of something pernicious and atrocious. I am not on a quest to save everybody, or even large groups of people, anymore. If you still have people in and you still have hope of reaching them, I understand why you want to, I did, too.
I have successfully helped out most of my closest friends. I have helped my brother (by blood) and his children to shift from POMI to POMO. I have tilted at all the windmills I have strength to confront among JWs.
Whether we are leading by example by directly shrinking their numbers, or whether we're doing battle against their promoted ideas, or whether we're banding together for support and fellowship, or whether we're letting the religion and the trauma it inflicted become a distant memory of how we once identified "self" before we knew better ... however someone breaks free and whatever their current intent, I'll celebrate with them, without judging them harshly. After all, they've survived a cult. However they need to cope is just fine with me.
Very well said Afterburn