"Thanks for the thought" - how the religion robs people of normal humanity

by stuckinarut2 28 Replies latest jw experiences

  • LongHairGal


    Interesting what you say about being labeled and losing friends because you would not allow elders to interfere in your family’s business....I believe I was similarly labeled because I would not allow elders to interfere in MY business.

    That’s what they’re all about: overstepping boundaries and I wouldn’t let this happen. As far as the rest of them: I don’t miss the gossiping, meddling, covetous fools. None of the JWs is really a genuine friend. But, like you, I am at peace and happy this is all in the past.

  • AudeSapere


    Incognito wrote:Taking an alternate view, maybe the father's death has hit them harder than you recognize. Perhaps they are in shock and consumed with grief and so are not acting as themselves and are not associating their behaviour with acting rudely.

    I lost both parents in the fairly-recent past. The passing of a parent can affect some people very hard. I think having a JW past complicates things exponentially - especially if someone is a little 'weak'.

    The loss can make you face everything you thought you knew. And feelings and insights can change daily.

    There can be a crisis of belief with the survivor.

    Manners and normal gratifude can easily be skipped by a someone have a great personal crisis.

    JWs are not accustomed to grieving. And they usually don't understand the benefit of grieving.

    And when they lose a parent, survivors are forced to confront their own mortality. An extremely sobering concept for those raised on assertion that they 'Can Live Forever in Paradise On Earth' and "Millions Now Living Will Never Die."

    One of the best things that one of my friend did a few weeks after my dad passed last year was to call to say she was in the neighborhood and asked if she could come by for just a few minutes. Very impromptu. Just she and I. We had a cup of tea and chatted in my home. And I cried without worrying about disturbing other people. She just said she was thinking of me and let me talk. She listened patiently and let me cry.

    It was powerful and kind and helpful to me.

    Maybe don't read too much into the brusque reply about the flowers.

    Maybe reach out to one of them for an informal one-on-one to show that you still really do care about them as a person. And as a friend.

  • stuckinarut2

    Very wise comments 'Ignotnito' and 'AudeSapare'

    Thank you.

  • resolute Bandicoot
    resolute Bandicoot

    Maybe reach out to one of them for an informal one-on-one to show that you still really do care about them as a person. And as a friend.

    Ditto ditto, this costs nothing other than your time and this small investment at this critical time may pay a dividend in causing them to question the gossip.

  • krismalone

    It's scary and heartbrealing how the Governing Body controls the emotions of their followers. Like a light switch, they can turn off any emotion.

  • Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho
    Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

    @resolute Bandicoot They would never agree to it. They can't even be seen in association with @stuckinarut2 on social media. There's no way they'd contaminate their status by onlookers in Stuck's small town by being in a two meter radius of him.

  • Nevuela

    To be fair, you said that the death only just occurred this week. A woman lost her father. You don't just "get over" something like that and fall back into a normal routine right away. Naturally it's going to take some time for her to respond to you. As for the husband's text, he doesn't speak for her, and maybe he understands that and knows it's not his place to put words in his wife's mouth.

    I am not trying to excuse their behavior, but give a possible explanation. When my mother died, there were some friends I didn't even inform until about two weeks later. Some actually called me first to ask how she was doing (she'd been in the hospital for over a month) and I was then forced to tell them right then and there over the phone. I know I should have done it a lot sooner, but it hurt too much to even think about having to tell anyone that my mom was gone.

  • flipper

    STUCK- Hey man, I know how you feel. I mean- I'm not dfed or did not dissassociate- but I'm still treated like I am dfed. I'm totally shunned by those in my family two older daughters and older JW siblings ( my youngest daughter occasionally talks or text messages me but rarely ) - all of the JW's I once considered " friends " don't speak to me or reach out, but this WT organization MAKES them this way. WT Society has created these socially inept monsters of human beings and any real humane empathy, caring, or compassion, or empathy - is totally stripped from their minds due to indoctrination and WT mind control. It's disgusting and sad. It was driven home to me when I saw what happened to my older JW mom when housed in a care facility for the final two and a half years of her life. I thought I " knew " my JW family- I didn't know them at all after the way mom was warehoused and treated with her voice and opinions being dismissed. It sickened me. Made me feel ashamed and angry that any power I thought I had to help my mom - was taken from me by my older siblings and my dad. My voice was ignored. Now I do what I can to help older people I know when it's in my power to do so

  • Vidiot
    krismalone - "It's scary and heartbrealing how the Governing Body controls the emotions of their followers. Like a light switch, they can turn off any emotion."

    Authoritarian leaders find it easy to compartmentalize their emotions.

    They probably scratch their heads over why everyone else finds it so hard.

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