It has been my experience that jw's do not/will not consider a "neutral third party". Why would they? everybody else is part of satan's world and have no love for jah. They will however consider going to the elders with all your personal business if they find it necessary. (which naturally makes it way around the cong)
I hate to say it but jw's are not the most trustworthy people, even if the husband agrees to not preach or to allow certain things they will make sure to guilt the kids as much as possible about it. They will take every advantage they can to sneak in jw doctrine and crazy nonsense. Don't forget the doom and gloom and the glee over the news with bombings and other world events. Make sure to point out on a regular basis all the wonderful things humans are doing to help each other everyday. Help them to see the world without the blackened glasses of the jw world.
I am not/never been a jw, in fact I have been opposed since my spouse joined up from the beginning. I do not get the official 'apostate' label never having been a jw to begin with. But I can tell you I sure deserve that label! When mine joined up and my kids were young I did everything I could to make sure he could not preach at them. Teach your kids critical thinking skills, educate them about the jw organization including the flip flops, sexual abuses, shunning, no blood, history and so on. No need to lie about anything, these are all facts. I never allowed my kids to step foot in a kh. Yes, it was a rather hellish time when this all went down. Years later we are still together, enjoy each others company and do many things together. I have given up trying to discuss anything jw and realize he must come to the truth about the truth on his own.
If the jw's had any truth they would not care about scrutiny, only people who have something to hide don't want you looking into them too closely.
We always did and still do holidays, my kids got birthday cakes & parties, Christmas, Easter and Halloween. It is a shame that dad is not in the picture for these events both figuratively and literal.
Today my kids are grown and out of the house. They have become Christians (no, I do not believe jw's are Christian) and pray their dad will wake up one day. They still love their dad as does their mom.
If your going through hell keep going! You will get out the other side and it is possible to bring the family intact. Things will get rough but they can get better.
Wishing you all the best.