After Leaving The Witnesses, How Have You Made Your Life More Satisfying?

by minimus 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus
    minimus

    Since so many of us thought that we found the truth, naturally, disappointment has taken it's effect over us. Some still yearn for some kind of inner joy or satisfaction. Is your life better, now that you've seen the truth or are you still struggling inside?

  • Solace
    Solace

    Oh minimus,

    You got me on this one, I feel this is so important.

    I have felt the need to be a benifit to the community, especially since leaving the organization. I think its because of those years I spent believing I was helping people by introducing them to the organization, I was really hurting them. I guess in a way, I might feel that I owe something.

    Everything the WTS provides, the "free in home bible studies", "free meetings", "free conventions", "volunteer quickbuilds", "missionary programs" etc. is all part of their plan. Their only goal is growth and expansion. There is more money and strength in numbers, and they know this.

    Many religious organizations have charities. You dont have to be Catholic to recieve assistance from St. Vincent Depaul, they will help whoever they can.

    I have never heard of the WTS using their own funds to help anyone in need. I have never even heard of them helping anyone in their own congregations who was struggling financially.

    I now work for a non profit (omg) "pagan" goverment funded angency which provides assistance to the elderly and needy in our area.

    I have also volunteered for various organizations. I even help "Friends of the elderly" serve Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners to hundreds of people, to my JW families dismay. Meanwhile, their biggest worry is getting enough hours of service in for the month.

    Sometimes reality just kindof smacks you in the face. Religion does not matter and no amount of brainwashing will ever make me believe that helping people in need is wrong. Regardless of our faith or religious upbringing, we are all still human.

  • minimus
    minimus

    Heaven, it's fulfilling to be of aid in the community, isn't it? I think some are afraid that once they leave the religion, entirely, they will have no real purpose in life.

  • LyinEyes
    LyinEyes

    Very good question Min........I would have to say that I have made my life more satishfying, by learning to love myself. I have been doing things that I find joy in. For so long I was just going thru the motions waiting on the New World to get here so I would be at peace with all the inner demons , memories and saddness I have carried on my shoulders for so long.

    I never liked myself because of depression, anxiety and years of hurt. Some may say it is a selfish phase but I think since being out only a year, it is just part of what I have to do to find myself, to be more of a whole person. I hope to one day feel completely happy in who I am, in a reasonable degree , that is.

    I knew if I didnt learn to love myself, I wouldnt be able to express love to anyone eles, my family and my friends. It has been important to me to love myself enough to say that I will not any longer, beg for love from my Dad, or from the JW's. I am learning to be happy in such a deeper way by accepting my flaws ,my quirky little ways, and saying I am ok. It has been great to find within myself the person I have always wanted to be and to be able to express it.

    I think this last year has been a lesson in accepting myself and accepting the things I can not change. By doing this, I have also found such a sense of peace.

    I hope that as I am moving forward I can also give back to the ones I love , now that I am really able to. It is helping me to be a better wife, a better mother and a better friend. I find that I love so much more deeply now and I want to extend that love to more than just family and friends, and I hope that I can fullfill that need by going to nursing school. That would be my dream to help others, to be a good nurse , and I know when I can do that, I will do so with all of my heart. Before as a witness I never was able to give of myself to much of anyone, because I was so weighted down, itwill be so great to be able to follow this dream. I am not sure if I will be able to do this , with my children still needing so much ofmy time. So for now I am using that desire , to be a good mother to my kids and prepare them for their futures.

  • minimus
    minimus

    Learning to love yourself is certainly a key to happiness. So many Witnesses are just plain miserable. I know of a sister who regular pioneered for about 5 years. She HATED it but felt guilty if she didn't. As a member of the Service Committee, I talked to her and suggested that she re-think her decision to pioneer. Another year went by and money problems became an issue. Finally, the sister stopped pioneering. She still feels guilty and is always depressed......What a sad life.

  • StinkyPantz
    StinkyPantz

    After leaving I decided it was necessary to educate myself. So now I'm in college getting degrees in Psychology and Forensic Science. If you had asked me 3 years ago where I saw my life in the future I would've said married and regular pioneering.

    I have learned SO much over the last couple of years, and I'm married to a lovely "worldly" guy. As a teenager I had always wanted to go into some form of law enforcement but figured any of those jobs were looked down upon by the dubs so I had resigned myself to a boring dub life. Now (if all goes as planned) I'll be a crime scene investigator in the coming years and eventually I'd like to work for the FBI as a profiler.

    So how is my life more satisfying? I'm living, I'm learning, and I'm happy.

  • Makena1
    Makena1
    So how is my life more satisfying? I'm living, I'm learning, and I'm happy.

    Same here Stinkypants...I'm in my mid 40s, so I fight thinking I'm too old to start a new life, but I keep going. If my daughter were alive she would be 26 (around your age?), and it makes me happy to hear you are doing so much with your life and are happy!!

    I've switched from psychology to sports physiology, I'd like to work part time in the fitness field. Bodily training is beneficial!!

  • ikhandi
    ikhandi

    Minimus where do you get these ques? Anyway for the first time in my life I can truly say I am happy. I am drug free, (almost two years)out of therapy and happy with the person I turned out to be. I am continuing to pursue all the dreams I was told were not important. Why pursue a dream when meetings, study, and field service are to be primary in your life? I received my masters in physical therapy and currently trying to achieve my doctorate. I believe in community service and try to contribute within my community. I am learning to think for myself and not play the game of following the leader. It feels good!

  • DanTheMan
    DanTheMan

    Min, you actually tried to talk somebody out of pioneering?

    BAD ELDER!!!! lol

    Stinky, you inspire me. If my current job situation ends in the disaster that it looks like it might, I may be heading back to school.

  • cruzanheart
    cruzanheart

    I give to any charity I want to. I try to do something good for someone every day. I enjoy every minute of my time with the children (well, most of them . . . .).

    I buy lottery tickets. If I win the $28 million, I GUARANTEE my life will be a hell of a lot more satisfying!!!!

    Nina

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