There is zero chance Christ would act in this manner or have such a structure that would weaponize family. … That just can't be right.
Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division
. From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.
Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword
. For I have come to turn
a man against his father,
a daughter against her mother,
a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—
a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.
Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
That's your Jesus weaponizing family in the Bible record.
I remember trying to shove square pegs into round holes, too. Wish you and your family all the best going forward!