by minimus 38 Replies latest jw friends
Everyone seems to think that never-JWs have perfect lives and never a care in the world.
Most people and most families have shit they are dealing with. It's just as an exJW you have a specific set of shit that may be slightly different to a lot of other people's.
Once you realize that no one is normal, you realize you're actually not so bad.
MINIMUS:
Yes, I tend to think that most ex-JWs (including myself) have issues depending on what they went through, how long they’ve been out and how well they have been able to establish (or re-establish) themselves in the world with friendships, relationships, etc...As time goes by these issues fade and becomes less relevant.
I was not raised a JW and there were issues and negativity in my home...However, I never forgot my non-JW father’s practical words of wisdom from the School of Hard Knocks and I’m grateful I resisted the Witnesses bad advice and held onto my job until retirement !
One of my neighbors who has never been a jw has a negative outlook; but he has cancer.
A former non jw girl firend has a negative outlook on life; but she was brutally raped in the past.
One of my non jw school friend's mother has a negative outlook; her husband's died last year.
Everyone; JW or Non-JW gets a negative outlook in life at least once in their life, maybe more--> except this guy;
I think deep down there might be a bit of self hatred instilled in us through constant repetition of I'm a good for nothing slave in the gospels as the supposed words of JC. Not to mention all emphasis on our sinning bodies the scripture cry out as Jehovah tramples them to death. So I would say any religion that capitalizes on a supposed end date for rebellious mankind gotta sow a lot of negativity into your psyche. They of course are not the only cause of negativity a lot of which we might learn in childhood. I'm glad many here are coping. I think a good psychoanalysis can help one to route out such negativity if it seems to be a problem.
I agree that we have certain things in common that affect us because we were in the religion. But everyone has something they must deal with. They were bullied in school, they were touched by a family member, they had a lousy job, etc. it’s called life!
I believe we all have some baggage. I’m only 6 months awake and finally feel my anxiety significantly reduced. And my bad days are getting farther and farther apart. I believe time will heal most of our wounds but we will always carry the scars. But I want my scars to make me who I am. A stonger person, a thinker, a compassionate human being.
In my case it has had the opposite affect. When I was a JW I always looked for all the negative things that were going on in the earth, but now I look at all the great improvements, and stories of people doing wonderful and amazing things to help each other. I am very positive about the future
Our son, who was raised as JW, had a regular bs with us, went to service and all meetings, etc. He did not get baptized and now, as he looks back, really hates the organization. It has caused him to have a PTSD mentality, not so that he would hurt anyone but he relives the terror he felt looking at the Armageddon pictures as a boy and having it drilled at every meeting about satan, Armageddon, people dying, being different and standing outside in the hall at school, being introverted (drilled that worldly people evil) and not a large person.... he was a happy child, loving and kind - he still maintains that today but the old training still rumbles around in the brain. Years later, it all seats back to that time. its like a Hitler youth thing.- get them young.
IT has taken him years and a lot of research into all belief systems to finally recognize the terrible toll it took on him and the family. None of the children in three families -stayed with the organization. Looks like the kids were smarter than the adults in this case. The men in family stepped down as elders and still visit halls occasionally.
The unfortunate thing is that when our son was not involved with the "world" and they were elders, as was several "close" friends,supposed to help - they did not and today, years later there is still no contact, which breaks his heart. He is on disability - verified by three doctors due to high stress issues and I really doubt any of this will change.
The organization really does a good job of breaking a persons intellect and willpower.
Do You Have A Negative Outlook Because You Were Once A JW? - no.
I'm kinda over that now. I could let myself become bitter because a small part of me is like that but I don't let that happen.
I, along with everyone else, are winners. Nobody's life is perfect but we're doing ok. We won in the race for life.
I'm 40 years old, half way through my life. But I've still got another 30 or 40 years left to achieve goals, do something with my life, and just enjoy life in general.
Life is good (free of cults).
No - I too, am over that part now. Happiness is a choice I make everyday. I choose how I want to react to any given situation or remark, I choose if I want to let things bother me or not.
Once I realized I could choose to not be bothered by all things JW - life got better.
I choose to love others, love myself, forgive my parents who joined this cult, forgive myself, but I also choose to not be a doormat for my pimi siblings who are rotten.
