Please Just Take Me Home...
Valis mang... You know where to find me day or night. Just give me a buzz n you can rant all you want.
Your brudda from anotha mutha
You can count me in with everyone else. We can adopt each other. I just can't figure out if you would be my son or brother; possibly a beloved nephew? You accepted my request listen to my feelings because we knew the same people, including your parents. Well, the offer is most definitely reciprocal and I offer my ears & shoulders regardless.
Maybe I'm just whining, which I hate from other people...I'm just very frustrated and can't see the good from my peeps like I should.
Darlin', this is not whining. Only someone without love and empathy would think that it is. You hurt because of your personal attacks and you're in Parent Protection Mode. Two different pressures and frustrations So many, many people here love you & respect you very much, and can relate to your frustrations. We are all here for you while you sort it out in anyway we can. Call somebody. And let us know how it's going.
Please take care. Love & peace, Theresa
I know what you mean. I consider myself VERY fortunate that I have my brother and sister and dad, but I still want my other brother and mom too. I don't know if I'll ever get past that. Like Jerry, I have pretty much cut them out of my life by making contact extremely limited and I don't seek them out. Most days I do just fine, but some days I cry too. Just know there are people that really do care about you. I don't know you very well, but I do read alot of your posts and I see a man who truly reaches out to others, especially to new ones on the board. It's not the same as your blood family, but I would love for you to join us "fuddie duddie, bean counting" folks for dinner some time. I cook a mean Italian meal.
(((((((valis)))))))) - how many times have i said those exact words. I thought MY family won the prize for disfunction. We're all brought together by this disfunction...to be the family for each other that we've all lost. And truthfully, i'd rather have all of you as my family anyway; you guys are FOR REAL. Most of my family is fake .
Now, enough of this mushy shxt. How's that a$$?!?!?!! love ya, honey.
Native (of the "Loving Older Sister who administers Loving Counsel" class)
((((((valis))))))) &((((((((others who have lost their family members)))))))
It makes me glad to be free of the mentality of "you must believe as I do or else" I regret having hurt anyone else with this type of thinking I once held. I was blinded by false reasoning because I trusted my life to a cult. What is really sad is this type of training/brainwashing is what holds people to it's membership, especially those who have many family ties that are "believers". If you leave you are alienated. It is called a protection when in fact it is punishment pure and simple. To go back is usually for the wrong reason, not because what they teach is right, but because of an undying need to love and be loved by your own family. Another sad result is that we learn to put up walls in order to make an attempt to block the chance of being hurt any more. Sometimes it seems easier to keep that barrier and stay in our safe place. I hope that one day I can see past that wall.
Valis, man...I've never communicated with you directly, but I know how much you have contributed to this board.
When I click on this forum, I am almost guaranteed to see a post or thread started by you, and I read them and get a kick out them.
It's interesting how this forum, has really become a 'family' of sorts. I have not connected with people like I have this one (forum).
It's neat, I mean....I could post about my friend's Memorial, and just about any topic I can come up with, and someone, somewhere on this forum, will post a message or e-mail me, and it really cheers me up.
Dude, I hope some day I get to meet the rest of the members on this forum, you included (Valis).
Isn't it nice that we can come on here, and it's like the support we didn't receive when we were dubs or from family members who were/still are active in the organization.
Sometimes blood is thicker than water - worse yet is when it coagulates and then it no longer flows freely, therefor lifeless. That's when a forum like this, acts as a true support network of people who care for you, and give you encouragement and most certainly can relate to your experience.
This is an incredible forum, with incredible people, and incredible fortitude.
Hope your spirits will be uplifted by us.
Listen, you aren't whining. That sounds like something your mom would have said to you. I know it hurts, and it probably should. I mean, this is your family and family ain't supposed to have conditional love. I look at my children and I can't imagine ever cutting them off; I don't care what they do or what they are. I love them now and always and nothing wil ever change that.
I remember a phone call I had with my father about 14 years ago. His words are still burned into my mind: "I don't care if I ever see you again." I'm not ashamed to admit I cried hard after that phone call and I was depressed about it for some time. I realize now though what I was doing was grieving. It was as if my family was dead, and in many ways they were. But the reverse also works as well. I cut them off. I had my name legally changed. I moved and got an unlisted phone number. I told all my friends that under no circumstances should they tell me anything about my family (that one took several repeats before it sunk in to a couple of my friends).
I'm better off now NOT knowing what they are up to and they're comings and goings. The older I get the more I realize what I'm here to do with this life. I'm a builder. I'm building a new family. It's like cutting a branch off an old dead tree and planting it anew. My kids won't know all the things I know. And you know what? Neither will yours. Your kids won't have to experience conditional love, or pressure to perform, or hell just pressure in general. 5 meetings a week, 10 hours a month, circuit and district conventions, informal witnessing and no fun whatsoever. They won't know what any of that shit is like.
If you feel sad Travis, then it's justified. Grieve for what you should have had, but didn't get. Grieve for the life that could have been, but wasn't. Grieve for the love you deserved but never had and then love you actually received. I know what it's like, and I am so sorry you have to go through it. You're a good guy and you deserve better. Ultimately you need to decide whether you can accept your family on their terms and part of that means what it does to you emotionally.
Give me call buddy, I work late.
Don't make me come down there with a guitar (that I can't play) and the lyrics (that I can't sing) to "Take me home, country roads" and serenade your ass, Sixy def-jam style. [;)]
I would adopt you Valis but I think I would enjoy spanking you to much when you were bad
You know I love ya in a grumpy sarcastic bitchy older sister kinda way don't ya Valis???? lol you are the little brother I never got to tease...so I am making up for lost time...serious though...we are a family of sorts and it's a pretty darn nice one too!!!!
Chin up...don't make me join sixy in serenading you...