by John Aquila 112 Replies latest jw experiences
Dagney
Not instantly and probably a few years before I finally felt able to mentally dismiss anything the org said or did.
See, reading some of these remarks helps me understand why it took me so long. I guess I just wasn't there yet mentally when I first heard the generation change in the 90s,
Sofia Lose
I coincidentally fell into this web page and the rest is history.
Ha, ha Sofia, your like Kate. Makes me believe in luck.
Funny for me, it was simple, I had lines that could not be crossed, that one being of supporting victims and justice for them. The other was money, they could never mislead anyone with money, if they did I couldn't be part of it.
I read the letters to elders and lived with the first line, but I showed my wife and said that if it happens to me I'm crossing the line. I told her about the money line and said I'd cross it again.
Then the "forgive the loans" crock of lies letter came and I really let them cross that line waiting to fix it. Then I saw for the third time how they treated victims of pedo's and that was a line I could not live with being crossed.
In many ways though the first time the line was crossed, I opened myself up to the internet as I could not believe I was the only one with a problem on the money. Then the world was opened up to viewing apostate information, but to me I've personally never been scared of apostate information, as I believe light can shine through any darkness. Funny when you realize your in the dark though.
John,
I was born and raised a JW from a long line of JW's. Brainwashed since birth. But I am a man of reason and logic. I always had doubts about some fundamental doctrines- the biggest of which is the year of Jerusalem's destruction as taught by the Governing Body- 607 BCE, as wrong. Anyways did my own research and it opened Pandora's box of all the other lies the GB has been using to keep us in darkness.
And then I met a Bethel friend with similar doubts. We got to talking and he opened up about his long 7+ year apostasy that he has managed to hide all these years while working in the inside. He is still there and his story inspired me to take on a more active roll in helping others while still being an "active" JW. Oh, the suspense of being a MS, taking the group out in service, giving talks and all that jazz while being an apostate is beyond thrilling. I might sound crazy, but I get a rush from it.
How many years passed before you found an EXJW to exchange thoughts? Or did one of your family members wake up with you?
Actually I was the first to leave in my family and I did so quietly.
The person who might have queried my own investigation was actually a well respected elder who came back after serving in Bethel and as a special pioneer. He was still a JWS at the time but I guess he too was starting to fade out. His comment was something like " aww its just a publishing house that might be a bit deceiving. I still remember that occasion to this day some 40 years ago.
As to talking to an ex-jws about specific doctrines and so forth that might not have happened decades after.
When I did depart I did so completely with no connection to any previous JWS friends.
Oh I should mention that I was taken aside by an elder one day, who informed me my hair was too long for giving talks or going out in service. It was not even an inch over my ears, it was the the 70's when long hair was in fashion for men, particularly teenagers. Being that some of the elders in the Hall had long side burns and mustaches which was fashionable too at the time I thought it was a bit hypocritical.
Around this time as well I had talked to that elder that I mentioned and the ball of inquisitiveness started to roll.
Today people have it much easier to gather information about the JWS and formulate their own opinions.
As a born in, it was many things. Having access to old publications and reading them helped me see that things weren't right in the old days. Being friends with "spiritually weak" and "questioning" JWs also helped. I also got help while in the ministry by getting questions from people in the field that I couldn't answer from the bible but had to use "the Society says" as an authority.
Most people don't listen to someone who they are adversarial to so it is unlikely that EX-JWs would influence a JW because even talking to them could get the JW disfellowshipped. Everyone has to think and put some effort into making such a huge change as that but I can say that I was definitely not close minded and I enjoyed finding out things even if they were negative.
No, actually, an anointed, very humble brother that I still love very much woke me up.
I was also a pioneer for about 4 months, when I figured it out and then posted on here.
It was a somewhat gradual process. After 1975 came and went, I started considering the possibility that I might live out my life and get old (which I almost have now). I was unhappy in my marriage to a low-functioning (as to intellectual ability and curiosity) JW elder. I wanted to go to college and get some job skills. I wanted much more actually, but was willing to settle for what I considered realistic. My husband wouldn't hear of it! I got depressed to the point of being catatonic and almost unresponsive. He relented in order to get me to look alive again, while making it clear that he would not pay for any education. I asked non-JW family members for enough to take two classes. They were happy to help. SO, every day there was conflict at home because my husband was embarrassed to have a wife so arrogant and out-of-control as to attend college. After four years of this nonsense, I made plans to go live with a DF'ed cousin on the other side of the country. I had help from a JW friend who was also waking up and wanted to be educated and from another who had become inactive. It was hush-hush until the day I left. I wrote a note and left it on the dining table stating that I was near collapse and had to get away. I did it! I've never looked back.
Thanks Finkelstein, I'm not sure how you made it without talking to exjw for decades, and your right, we do have it easier today. I'm not sure I've would have made it back then.
Cognac, an anointed brother woke you up!!!
That's a first. I bet your the only one of exjws that was woken up by an anointed. Should we consider you an Anointed Apostate.
