by John Aquila 112 Replies latest jw experiences
Stealth
it was things that were said from the convention platform that drove me away and the lack of love shown during one the worst crisis in my life.
I believe this is a KEY factor in starting the process of waking up. The Organization itself is doing a better job of waking people up than all of us apostates put together.
There were some ex-JW websites that I accidently stumbled upon that actually delayed me awakening. I hate to name names, but both Six Screens and Danny Hazzard’s site perpetuated the “apostate” stereotype that had been part and parcel of my lifelong indoctrination.
Self wake.... When they started changing "when this generation would see the new system" (say around 2010) we looked into 607, used WT's, JW CD library, all of the society's literature.
All kinds of wrong things had happened in the past from elders, CO's, kindgom hall builds, assembly hall builds..... all kinds of stuff..... It wasn't until something doctrinal came up, that showed they were lying, that was provable, along with the internet (with webistes like this & others), did we have the ability to just stop. We saw the man behind the curtain....That was it.
Ex-jws had nothing to do with myself waking up, as I was born into this religion, it become obvious that I wasn't getting "The Truth" . Vocal apostates were kind reconfirming that there were really evil opposing agents out to attack God's one and true religion, exactly to what I was taught.
When 1975 came and passed, this again sort of reconfirmed something was not right in Denmark.
This was pre-internet so I was on my own to investigate the inaccuracies and troubles.
What I found out was that many of the WTS' doctrines were falsified as a deliberate means to attract attention to the literature the WTS published and the adjoining talks were also designed to support those specifically designed doctrines.
What the leaders of the WTS were striving for were avowed sales representatives for their publishing organization. Indoctrinated them with specifically designed doctrines and shape them by appearance, talk and teachings so that they would self volunteer themselves distributing the literature to the general public.
God found its voice to all humanity and that was and became the Watchtower Publishing house.
Finkelstein
This was pre-internet so I was on my own to investigate the inaccuracies and troubles.
How many years passed before you found an EXJW to exchange thoughts? Or did one of your family members wake up with you?
Short answer - this forum.
Long answer ...
Looking back, some of the stuff that the org was spewing out jarred with me. The huge generation change of 1995 was a biggie although not decisively so at the time. Beards and pant-suits always stuck in my craw as did other petty rules. Sex rules that weren't in the Bible such as masturbation and oral sex with your marriage mate irritated me too.
Old testament brutality and capriciousness on the part of Jehovah "who never changes" WTF?
Though funnily enough I am always grateful for the stance on smoking - I come from a family background where about 50% were smokers and I could have got addicted.
But when I came on this forum about ten years later and saw that others felt the same way about many of the same things as I did, well that gradually woke me up.
Not instantly and probably a few years before I finally felt able to mentally dismiss anything the org said or did.
My observation in being out 14 years is most if not all leave because of their own personal growth.
I understand the need to be an "activist" and voice frustrations...point out the fallacies of the teachings and the shamefulness of their policies. So in the overt demonstrations, I think it is more of a personal, public statement that some just need to say. I venture to say hardly any current JW would be swayed to investigate information from a loud and busy banner type ad. Just my observation. The cult mind is strong. Mine was...I didn't want anything to do with "apostates" even though I was questioning everything.
However I do think the public demonstrations do inform the nonJW community that all is not well with those nice people that come to their door every Saturday morning.
But the internet and youtube...everybody goes to youtube to find out how to do things. I've met so many at fests who just stumbled on a youtube that spoke to them. One thing led to another, they investigate the websites and they are out.
I coincidentally fell into this web page and the rest is history.
SL
I woke up on my own too. When something effects you personally ,that is when you seriously question things.
Over the course of two years many things about the organization began to bother me . I saw clearly hypocrisy within the congregation on how people were treated . They said they had brotherly love ,but I saw it was very conditional .The Elders could not apply the simple principle of being a Good Samaritan. I was sickened by how much emphasis was given to following the GB instead of God or Jesus. I began sitting back and really looking at people in the Hall ....they were sad, haggard ,and worn down . I kept wondering why so many were on anti-depressants .
Then one day I was watching the Dr Phil show ,and he had two girls on there named Fawn .Both had escaped a cult out west . They spoke about how afraid they were to leave ,because they would be destroyed at Armageddon ,and their family and friends would shun them .All they wanted was freedom to make their own decisions instead of having to follow the group think of the cult .I kept saying to the television 'That's how I feel !" I can't remember all the advice Dr Phil gave them ,but I do remember him speaking about Stephen Hasson and how cults keep you suppressed ,and in fear . He spoke to anyone watching the show that we don't need to be in fear like that .....and that is not how God would want us to worship him . This made me feel so bold and courageous that I made my first attempt to come on this forum and read ! I thought I was weak and all alone in my doubts of the society ,then all of the sudden here were hundreds maybe thousands of others feeling and saying exactly what I was thinking !
