How do you deal with people who do not like you?

by usualusername1 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • Teufel

    There's a million quotes about this, it all boils down to the fact that if you're true to yourself you will at times run into people who dont like you. But then the people who do like you will really like you because you're interesting.

    I mean, living a life pleasing everyone is denying the most important person (you) from being genuinely happy.

    As far as i know the split of people that like me and dont like me is 50/50 and that's fine.

  • Xanthippe

    Sociologists say on average 30% of people we meet will like us, 30% will dislike us and 30% will be indifferent to us. It doesn't bother me if people dislike me, I'm not going to be everyone's cup of tea am I?

    With so many different personalities being developed in life through our many and varied mixes of nature/nurture it stands to reason we're not going to get on with everyone. Don't let it bother you. Avoid unpleasant people wherever possible and forget about them.

  • tiki

    Nah....there are rude jerks out there....ignore them. Concentrate on people you like and who like you.

  • Still Totally ADD
    Still Totally ADD

    I posted about 2 months ago about a person who was very hateful towards me. Since then she has come back to our UU congregation acting like nothing ever happened. I have done nothing but show kindness to her except I keep a very close eye on her. Not being funny I feel she has some mental problem going on because her personality has changed from last time. I plan is to keep her at arm length be kind to her but limit any interaction with her. Good luck and I hope you will find a good way to cope with these two women. Still Totally ADD

  • My Name is of No Consequence
    My Name is of No Consequence

    @ usualusername1:

    Just remember that they are one ones with the problem…not you.

  • FedUpJW

    Time is the most valuable asset we have. Mine is much to important than to spend it worrying about someone who doesn't like me, or trying to get them to do so. That is one of the things that I got chastised for many times. The eldurrs hated the fact that I didn't run around kissing up to people in the congregation who did not like me, trying to "make peace" with them.

  • steve2

    Hi Paul. It's hard to reach out to others and socialize more only to find some people are rude. You ask are you extreme in your reaction to them?

    I'd need to know more about what actually happened (e.g., what did you say or do? How might it have been perceived by the women? etc). Some people for whatever reason are unkind but sometimes people are unkind because they may perceive the other person to be in some way negative (e.g., pestering them, not taking no for an answer, etc).

    Hard to generalize in your case, but sometimes (some) women will say that (some) men just don't get it when it comes to relating to women and the only way these women can convey to men their disinterest is being direct and even rude. I'm not saying that happened in your case - because it is difficult to comment on whether your reaction is extreme in the absence of knowing precisely what happened leading up to that.

    Context is often everything.

  • hybridous

    Used to really bother me when I knew someone didn't like me...

    Of course, it did - I had no integrated and independent sense of 'self'.

    All there was, was what others thought. Of course, I was a born-in JW. I was conditioned to seek approval at all costs.

    I became more jaded with time. I saw that the others I was seeking approval from were full of flaws, themselves.

    I experienced that they could be dishonest, prejudicial, hypocritical, cowardly...

    After some time stewing in my disappointment over what others were not, I lowered my expectations.

  • sparrowdown

    Don't waste time worrying about it or them. If you are indifferent towards their behavior and just go about your business happy and unaffected you might find the animosity just evaporates in time.

  • _Morpheus

    When I find someone dosent like me i curl up into a ball and cry tears of frustration and shame. I rock back and forth and convulse uncontrollably until dehydration finally makes my tears cease and hunger forces me to drag myself out of my darkened room to forage for sustance. I spend months rebuilding my self esteem and hope and pray that noone else hurts my precious feelings until i can recover.

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