Yes, I am.
Besides losing the hope to live forever, my life has been shaken up again (fall out from leaving).
I don't even know who I am right now.
I have no motivation for anything.
If it wasn't for my Kids, I would have a hard time getting out of bed.
ttdtt - so sorry for your hard times lately! Family fall outs are the hardest, especially if you were close-knit. I hope things settle down and you get some peace/motivation soon.
It's times like this you realise how much the ex JW movement needs to stick together. Heck even some form of "church" would be great where it's all about the community - no forcing of beliefs, just up building gatherings with speeches etc (reconnecting people who are vulnerable). All sorts welcome. Then people like yourself can bring value to the table just as before (some were elders, pioneers etc), except it's translated into non JW forms.