How were you 'outed' ??

by stuckinarut2 19 Replies latest jw experiences

  • stuckinarut2

    Many of us here have been "outed" as ones who no longer believe that this is "the Truth".

    Many didn't have the chance to do it in our own way, and in our own time, but rather someone "found out about our apostasy" and "reported" it to the spiritual police (elders)

    Would you like to share your stories?

  • JRK

    Here is a thread about an ugly spate of outings that were caused by AAWA force adding people on FaceBook. One person got DFed and disinherited because of this clusterfuck of an organization!


  • sparrowdown

    In true JW style I'm sure I've been "outed" as apostate via the gossip mill to everyone but me.

    I've never beed D-Effed never D-Assed myself never confessed to anything, never done anything or been witnessed doing anything that could be used against me, no one has ever asked to speak to me and yet...

    They treat me like I'm apostate. I'm a "do not call" now. I'm sure there are plenty of stories going round, I just couldn't tell you what any of them are.

    JWs are very very weird people.

  • Wakanda

    Haven't been truly outed. However, the first person I told immediately told the rest of their family even though I specifically asked them not to tell ANYONE! I almost fainted. The parents are inactive (told one of the parents). They told the children that have not been raised in it, hence they have no idea how important it is not to out someone. ALL relatives are IN. I felt like a mouse being played with by a cat. Awful. They went to grab my wallet and take my blood card out. How do I explain that to my husband as a newly awakened if he noticed? I didn't let them. It has taken two years to share with anyone other than professionals who are bound by laws/state rules.

    It felt like what Eddie Lane looked like leaving his in-laws house on the first season of The Path. Good show, btw.

  • jookbeard

    made a mistake of voicing my doubts to too many people, it was only a matter of time, plus a wife who was convinced I was possessed

  • wozza

    Told my book study overseer that my conscience would not allow me to preach for JW anymore as he knew my stand against pedophiles in the org

    Next,soon after a couple of sisters called at my door with their children witnessing and I told them of at least one JW man in our hall who is a pedophile and named him . He was actually working with them that day next door with a child ,they thanked me for warning them to protect their children and I explained which elders knew about his pedophilia and which ones did'nt.

    They obviously talked to the elders abut our conversation and two of them came to see me at home did the old "Do believe the Org is directed by the GB " spiel

    No witness would walk on by my house after that and it was reported to me that I was supposed to be demonised................................... well the pedophile went to jail and they still visited him in prison.

  • NewYork44M

    I never had an outing experience. I moved to different congregations several times. In the end, I was a nobody. There is never any effort to expose a nobody. I kinda feel cheated.

  • SplaneThisToMe

    Funny story for me: I was drinking with a friend who I trusted very much. Ended up telling her everything that I researched and asked her thoughts. She got spooked and told me the next day that I needed to talk to the elders or she would go to them. I had two shepherding calls to try to help me overcome my “doubts” but by that time I knew I didn’t agree with the organization and wanted out. My last meeting was the circuit assembly in November and I haven’t been back since. I lost all my friends, but I’ve made new ones since. Looking back, I’m thankful for that night and I’m thankful for my friend giving me that final push to my freedom.

  • backformore

    Hehehe, funny story about this one. Back when I was a teenager and still in I was friends with this one girl who got DF'd. I was a horrible JW so I still stayed friends with her and would talk to her outside the hall and even hang out sometimes. Fast forward a few years when I've gone apostate and am in my 20's. I run into my old friend and she's married now. She introduces me to her husband and he's nice enough. While we're talking I start going on about how I'm out now, proud apostate, and on and on. She tells me her husband was once at Bethel and I congratulate him on how far he's fallen since that time. Very nice and pleasant conversation. A couple weeks later I was talking to my buddy who was out also and I mentioned running into our old friend and her husband. As I'm telling him about our conversation he starts getting this horrified look on his face that keeps getting worse and worse as I go on. Once I finally shut up the only thing he can get out is "You know she went back, right?" Turns out she got reinstated and married this super elder at another congregation. I'm going on about being apostate now and neither one of them has the nerve to say they're still in. At this point I do the only thing I can think of, start laughing. Seriously, I'm going to lose family and friends over this but at least I won't have to deal with all the hiding and stuff like that. I'm now totally free to just be me.

    Remember, the only power these people have over you is what you give them.

  • scratchme1010

    Many of us here have been "outed" as ones who no longer believe that this is "the Truth".

    Many didn't have the chance to do it in our own way, and in our own time, but rather someone "found out about our apostasy" and "reported" it to the spiritual police (elders)

    Would you like to share your stories?

    I wasn't "outed", but many JWs love to have the last word and tarnish people's reputation and just flat out lie and exaggerate. They love to have something juicy to chew at the espense of tarnishing people's reputation, probably since that's all the pleasure in life that they might get.

    So more than anybody outing me, I started hearing ridiculous stories, some so laughable that it reinforced my decision to leave those losers.

    I was contacted several times by the elders and other people who were just nosy and inappropriate, about things that "they heard". I don't remember them all, but some were about seeing me prostituting myself in some corner late at night, seeing me dressed in women's clothes outside, touching children inappropriately, I allegedly invited several brothers to have sex, that I loved hanging out in men's rooms (yuck!), and those are the ones that I remember.

    The fact that they would come to me with that nonsense said a lot about what they are all about, and their lack of spine, especially since the intent of inquiring never looked like well intended.

    The "outing" thing is bad. It's one of the most vicious and horrible things that they can do to people, especially those who are questioning their faith and their relationship with them, which may be more reason for them to continue losing numbers.

    Though I wasn't outed, even me, a person who has never liked gossip or talking negatively about other people when they aren't present, many times I heard very nasty negative things about people who they considered "spiritually weak" or "cold". Every time I heard something, the very first thought that came to mind was "I'm next", or "who knows what they are saying about me". They certainly loved using all kinds of adjectives and modifiers every time they were talking about the actions (or suspicions) about others.

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