His Rose colored glasses are back on

by HappyBlessedFree 21 Replies latest jw experiences

  • blondie

    My husband was love bombed until he got baptized. Then he was totally ignored and he then started seeing the hypocrisy.

  • Half banana
    Half banana

    If a person responds to love bombing from a bunch of smiley religious nuts, he must be is in a delicate state of mind in the first place.

    Try and find out why he feels so insecure and deal with that.

    Better to find friends and company who have their feet on the ground than those who dream of castles in the air and paradise fraudulently offered by the Watchtower.

  • out4good4
    was love bombed until he got baptized. Then was totally ignored and he then started seeing the hypocrisy.

    This was me in a nutshell.

    You know, I remember my dad telling me that I should not get involved with them, but, by then I was already preconditioned with their Satan is going to go after you now that you are studying crap.

    I studied with an elder for a year. After I was baptised he immediately had no more time or interest in me and handed me off to study with some guy that they had just reinstated. I wish I could remember his name.

    Ran into this elder recently while giving the wife some company at an assembly and I had to tell him who I was. Of course, at that time, he was terminally overweight sitting on a roll-ator and stricken with Gout.

  • HappyBlessedFree

    Yes, that’s true , about not getting emotional (in front of him) about it. I do all my crying when he’s not around and try and put on a happy face when he comes home. Not easy cuz I’m an extremely honest person and can’t fake anything to save my life lol. That’s probably why the Orgs lies affected me so deeply.

    He has always had issues with feeling loved. So I do my best to love him but it’s an enormous task because it’s never enough. The other day I was talking to him about the need to love ourselves and that if we have a huge void no outside person can ever fill that. It has to come from within.

    So he says the four months he was away he felt Jehovah’s spirit leave him and as soon as he walked in the KH he felt that it was back. He didn’t go to meetings because of me. I woke up In December, told him everything and said so need time to figure thing out. I never told him not to go to meetings, he did that himself.

    But for the last 10 years if I didn’t tell him it’s meeting night he would conveniently forget. We were both JWs for 25 + years. He was never an MS, he did pioneer for a year before we got married. Been married almost 20 years.

    I think you are all right, it last almost fresh and new for him again but that will wear off. He also spoke with an Elder told him I have doubts (he knows it’s more than doubts, I have told him I’m not a Jw anymore) and he is was AMAZED how lovingly the said to keep being kind, keep being a good husband etc and that they didn’t tell him he has to leave me. I told him that’s because I’m not disfellowshipped, it would be a different story if I was.

    I almost want to disassociate, and let my apostate flag fly. So he can see their fangs come out.

    Thank you all for the support. 💕

  • nonjwspouse

    The yoyo will happen. You must focus on you and your family. Focus on making plans for enjoyable things for him to do with you.

    I do a lot of seed planning. It takes a lot of mental energy and learning how to do it. No mentions of JW, but bringing up things he agrees with that are in direct opposition with the JW. Once he recognizes it as that, he will show it in his face or actions. Then you stop for a while to let it "water" in his mind. Some seeds will not get watered, some will. There is no way of knowing which when you are doing it. You have to be careful not to have him upset.

    You keep doing that kind of seed planting indefinitely. It will not crack the armor unless there is a weakness there to begin with. Who knows when a crack will begin and seeds can widen it, taking hold.

  • Rattigan350

    " He just refuses to see anything as a problem."

    what is the problem?

    The NGO thing is not a problem.

    The problem is that religion is useless. It is just people focusing on God as a crutch to their problems and God is doing nothing to help.

    The problem is the religion is too focused on the religion. The elders can not be marriage counselors because if the problem is because the religion then they focus on the person's spirituality and not the religion.

  • OnTheWayOut

    So sorry to read your woes. Start planning something enjoyable for meeting time, even if it's just a good meal and binge watching some show, but mix in some outings. Maybe he will tire of Jehovah's spirit being back on him and he will want to join you.

  • Iown Mylife
    Iown Mylife

    When the stoutest love bombers lose their enthusiasm and turn away to a new person to lavish and energize, he may decide Jehovah's renewed spirit got a flat tire. When those ego pumpers slow down, the meetings won't be any fun for him, maybe.

    Sometimes a fear does provoke a return to what's familiar. Also realization of time passing and life is too smooth, puts some in crisis mode.

    I hope things work out well, and happily♥

  • smiddy3

    Get him to show you one scripture in the New Testament in the NWT that requires Christians to be Witnesses of Jehovah .

    Their is not one .

    Do a little research of your own about how many scriptures their are in the NT that require Christians to be witnesses of , for , or about Jesus Christ and their are at least 20 such scriptures .

    Philippians 2:9 -10 God gave Jesus a name that is above every other name ( including the name Jehovah ) "so that in the name of Jesus every knee should bend ( in worship ) in those in heaven and those on earth and those under the ground "

    An obvious reference that God wants Christians to worship Jesus to be able to come to him in this period of time as a test of their faith.

  • johnamos

    Quote- Philippians 2:9 -10 God gave Jesus a name that is above every other name ( including the name Jehovah ) – End quote

    (Luke 1:31) and, look! you will conceive in your womb and give birth to a son, and you are to call his name Jesus.*

    (Luke 2:21) Now when eight days came to the full for circumcising him, his name was also called Jesus,* the name called by the angel before he was conceived in the womb.

    * Greek - Ιησούς

    Hebrew – יהושע 'Jehoshua' meaning: יהוה הוא ישועה - 'Jehovah is Salvation'

Share this