Will I Ever Belong
As A JW, I was always on the outside, looking in. I NEVER belonged and boy, did they make sure I knew it!!!
All my life I have been an outsider. How do I go about finding out how I can belong - to anything?
Rebel, the need to feel accepted and belong is not an unreasonable request.
But for starters: right here, on this forum.
I'd say, you are beginning to fit right in.
You're more than welcome here.
It is most times our own perception of our situation that makes it easy for us to continue feeling less than acceptable. This is called low self-esteem. And the odd thing about it is, if you tend to suffer from this, YOU will feel like you don't belong, and therefore, you will be treated like you don't belong. Others pick up on our insecurities and we are easy targets. (I do understand )
Please take time to learn to love yourself. You are very worthy to be loved, but until YOU believe this to be true, you will constantly feel rejected--always on the outside looking in.
Your feeling of not belonging is not exclusive to xJW's. Most people feel that way at one time or another. I learned a lot from watching my daughter as she struggled to fit in. Every time she caved to groupthink, she lost a little of her self. Every time she stepped out on her own, she had gaggles of other teens following her like little goslings. People admire others who seem to have their act together and know where they are going. Note that you don't have to wait to have your act together. You just have to seem like you have your act together.
Stand tall. Be yourself. Invite other people to your party.
It is so easy when you are a strong person - I have never been strong and I always feel as if I will be at the bottom of the pile.
Thank you all for making me feel better
Rebel, I am not very physically strong, either. If I went to the gym more regularly, I would be stronger. I have gotten over my fears of being around so many buff people. Especially when I realized they were too busy in to their own bodies to bother staring at mine.
When I do make it a habit to pick up weights a little bit, I can feel the difference. (Never overdoing it of course. I warm up and stretch and all that).
I think you felt like you were outside looking in because you really did not belong there. Thank goodness for that!!
This belong thing is very common. That is why so many ex Jw's hop from one place to another. We were conditioned to feel that we had to belong to not only be fulfilled internally, but to have God on our side.
That is the furthest thing from the truth. The only thing we need to belong to is Jesus. He is our Lord and the only one that can give us peace and the prize we worked so hard for as witnesses. This salvation is not earned like the JW's said. Rather it is a gift from God to us.
Whether we are alive here on earth we have Him with us or whether we die and are with HIM we have Him with us.
"If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we BELONG to the Lord."....For this reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living."
Try looking to God to belong.
Lots of agape love, gold_morning
Sometimes these feeling of separation, a sense of being cut-off, of not quite touching life, can be a spiritual message.
Meditation and things along that line may bring you some peace and understanding.
Like everyone said this is a great place to find great friends. I know what you mean ,,,,,,,,being raised a jw I always felt like I didnt belong, even in my own family at home.
Here i have found friends that do not put any conditions on being my friend, they don't HAVE to be my friend, they do it because they want to. In my congregation as a young adult until I left last year , I was the only one my age with kids . I really missed the friendships I had when I was a teenager. I have seemed to find it again,,,,,,,,,,, I have a blast getting to know my friends better here. We exchange messages, talk on yahoo, talk here, write letters, call each other on the phone.
I want to learn to be a better friend , keep better in touch with others, it takes effort to really make true lasting friends, and this is something I have been out of practice with for so many years.
I would suggest you go in chat here as much as you can and you will get to know others and find some special people that you really can connect to. My email is firstname.lastname@example.org so you can email me anytime you want to talk,,,,,,,,,,,, I have 3 kids , married, live in Louisiana and love to get to know new people and TALK of course........so drop me a line sometime.
you're stronger than you realise sweetie!! dont think abou