All the advice sounds pretty good. Problem is there are no two situations alike. The congregations also need to consider if they can avoid playing the "apostasy card" too often. Don't make it personal with any of them, and try to avoid getting trapped into letting them know that you could make threats of legal trouble or publicity trouble. This sometimes works, but it's too dangerous. (Some of the loudest apostates have sometimes gotten out easy with threats of trouble, but it's usually the interests of the Society and, to a lesser extent, the congregation that are considered. Also, some very quiet shy people have expressed doubts and pleaded to be able to go away quietly and yet have been publically "shamed" as apostates.)
Sometimes these cases appear to have more to do with the ego of the leading elder on the case. In my case, I had a congregation elder (and Bethel elder) who needed to prove he was capable of rooting out an apostate that slipped through the hands of my previous Inquisitors, which had included Brother Sydlik. I was told later by several Bethel insiders, including Ciro A., that he was about to get sent home from Bethel due to his wife's illness and he needed to make some points with the Bethel committee to change his his Bethel "fate." He was in some ways the most evil man I ever would have dealt with. He visibly seethed with anger when other elders didn't agree with the way he wanted to handle my case. (And he had the strangest plans to smoke me out.)
Anyway, your idea of asking questions is good, but won't always work depending on their intentions and depending on other things they may have heard, but won't tell you. They may have heard rumors which may include a lot of crazy untruths, but you'll never know about them.
If you can avoid meeting without refusing that's the most important step. If you can delay by giving them nearly impossible meeting times, that's good up to a point. If you finally have to meet with them, your attitude is more important than what you say, but you have to be able to say most of what they want and expect to hear.
If you still believe in the Bible and Christianity, you should be able to get the following points across that are helpful:
1. You still love Jehovah, and love his organization, but just have so many questions right now that you just feel you need some more time. (Don't argue that you don't want to associate because you don't want others to know you have doubts/questions.) You appreciate these efforts made to try to help you, and you are sure this situation will pass.
(You want to avoid statements like: "I really believe that with heartfelt prayer and reliance upon Jehovah, that this problem will be resolved." The problems is, of course, that by relying on Jehovah without the elder's counsel, the meetings counsel, etc, you are really just relying on yourself, in their eyes.)
You do still believe in the faithful and discreet slave (even though you believe it in a more Biblical way, as I recall from a previous exchange with you in another thread.) So, of course you believe in God's organization, of course you believe that spiritual food is being delivered at the proper time from the slave class. (You don't have to lie to say these things, but they are still being deceived.)
The problem is the level of honesty you can give them if they ask things more directly like..."Do you believe that the Watchtower Society and the Governing Body are truly representing Jehovah's only source of spiritual food in our day." My brother was asked that one from a very tough Bethel Witch Hunt Committee in 1981, and managed to slip it with: "Of course I believe in Jehovah's arrangement. It's just that I was confused about some questions I had. I was having some doubts about some of the answers, but I don't really have any problems with those questions any more." He was able to change their interest to what his specific "tough questions" were rather than "who he had been discussing issues with." Now they were asking about the questions, and he was able to choose which questions he wanted to discuss. He could choose innocuous ones where he could prove that the answers were satisfactory and in support of the Org's position.(The Org has told the truth a few times...notice, for example, that there are believable explanations that would exonerate the Society and its leaders from some of the claims against them over the years.)
It's also important to help them conclude the meeting on a positive note. Show that you have been satisfied with answers such as these and you are confident that good answers to any remaining questions will also come in time. If you can, show them that they, the elders, have helped you overcome some doubts, that the Wt has helped answer questions, etc. They will feel they've done their job.
(Elders will typically be bored or unwilling to deal with questions that sound worthless to them and which they don't know the answers to anyway, and they will be happy you are finding your own generally positive answers. They do not want to have to do research beyond their own current knowledge.)
Keep your goal very clearly in mind and a lot of the words will likely come to you. If your goal is to stay in good standing, the words may come out a bit different than if your goal is to drift away quietly.
Sorry for the length.