Screwed up sexually

by purrpurr 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • hybridous
    Do any of you know of jws who have been screwed up by these teachings?

    Yes, me. Then again, I owe my existence to these teachings - my parents brought together by these frustrations...
  • caves

    YES!!! I spent have spent years deconstructing and reconstructing how I view sex and sexuality. Its on the top of the list of things that nearly destroyed me. And wrecked many years of coming to terms with myself.

  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    Yes 2 female friends who couldn't have penetrative sex for years after marriage because of the psychological damage of being raised JW. With medical support and counselling they both recovered and went on to have children. They both had vaginismus.

  • pale.emperor

    I hated that nudity alone was always stamped as pornography. My mum was that strict about it I wasn't even allowed to see Greek statues if they were nude. Same goes for paintings. This is in my teens mind you. Even when I was in my early 20s she'd change the TV station if there's a shampoo advert we're the woman is in the shower even though you don't see anything.

    Then next after marriage I'm supposed to see a naked woman and know what to do!

  • Xanthippe

    When you get married to a guy you love more than life but he has been an enforced virgin for 27 years. He wants to make love three time a day and that's fine because I was only twenty-two but after a few months you get tired when you're pioneering and going to work as well. All the housework too, my privilege of course. You just want to take a night off occasionally and sleep, you know! He can't though, because masturbation is forbidden, even in marriage. Arrrggh!! Stupid cult.

  • zeb

    Knew a girl 16 who was about to get married. Elders daughter and the mother ...(!) obsessed that the girl would 'get into trouble' was getting her married off asap. The deal fell through but not two months later she was hitched to another feller who was a bit older. He was ok and they have stuck the distance but it was a hugh load on two such young people.

    It has ever bugged me this thing where the couple can have no time together to discuss some very personal matters because of the wt rules on having a chaperone within ear shot of their every word. and what a source of gossip these dragons are!

    The wt obsession with sex says that left alone for 2 minutes a couple would be at each other.. well if they are so without any such control how will they go on finance matters.. buy everything they lock eyes on?

    HM couples who are moving along their relationship in marriage and with minds flooded with wt guilt trips are uncertain about some 'things' then make the huge mistake of going to elders for advice....

  • zeb

    and this tragedy doesn't stop with the young..

    HM of you can make a list of excuses you have heard denying..

    • Too hot
    • too cold
    • I have meeting part to prepare
    • too late.
    • too early.
    • 'I don't want too" (..but bring the money home)

    and the best (!) announced from the platform..

    • "I am pioneering this month."

    and as the years go by there is less and less touching, conversation, sharing of anything until the marriage is dead.

    Take note of the short list and see what you can add..

  • Half banana
    Half banana

    I was a guilt ridden pioneer with an unofficial degree in advanced heavy petting. It didn't really prepare me for married life.

    In European countries in the middle ages it was normal to get pregnant before marriage...

    Whatever the Watchtower tells you to do, doing the opposite is probably better!

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    we were both teenage pioneers--me a servant. enjoyed very heavy petting for a couple of years befor we got married--me 20--her 19 ( a born in bossy spoiled brat ) technical virgins till our wedding night. what a disappointment that was. she was so slack i couldnt touch the sides ( or was i under endowed ). still managed to do about 10 strokes though.

  • Whynot

    Yes, it left my marriage in shambles. My husband was heavily indoctrinated thinking sex was evil. I have needs. It was like having sex with a Nazi. He felt guilty if we enjoyed ourselves too much. It led ti fights, which led to our separation but we got back together. He still struggles with it though.

    I always hated being told how I should view sex. I have few restrictions but my husband still is very restricted. It's difficult to enjoy it when I know he doesn't feel comfortable. It deeply hurt my self-esteem. I really don't understand it.

Share this