Maybe your kids have still not gotten over it because of the palpable hostility you are still displaying at the fact that your wife DID divorce you. Marriage isn't easy. Neither is life. But kids of divorce always do much better if the ex-es put the kids FIRST and stifle their own hard feelings. Grow up.
I come from a family where the women stifle their feelings and grumble to themselves or mutter their complaints under their breath in the next room. (Honest, Pepper!) It makes for a very negative atmosphere. We are very poor at forthrightly expressing our hurts and needs. Unfortunately, I see us in you. Counseling will help you to take the plunge into describing just what you feel to be unfair behavior to your husband. His reaction will be the key to your eventual decision. I wish you the best possible outcome.