No Longer a JW Expert But Starting to Figure Out Life

by AllTimeJeff 23 Replies latest jw friends

  • AllTimeJeff

    Consider this an update for those that remember me here...

    When I left in 2006, it started a 10 year journey into a new phase. No more "safety". No more "brotherhood". I was so glad that I left and blew up the bridge. Scared, but happy to try and figure out life.

    I spent the first few years here online, sharing all my "insider" knowledge and sharing some of my pain. As a missionary and elder, I saw a lot, and saw that most of it was crap. I needed to write, just to get it out. I would like to think I put a small dent in the Bullshit Boat that is Governing Body 2.0 and helped a few people to see some facts. I had no agenda and still don't. The fact is, Jehovah's Witnesses as a group of people are mostly "nice". (whatever that means) But they are a cult because of what their leadership teaches and enforces.

    And yet, people still sign up. Just like they always will. And we should expect that in the future too. You'll always have cults and high control groups because frankly, some people need them. They can't operate as their own person. Some are so damaged they can't function without it.

    I myself am still damaged, and will probably have a "limp" of sorts for the rest of my days.

    One of the things I have had to come to grips with is that I ever did that stuff. I am way easier on myself than I used to be. I HATED that I chose to spend my 20's with them. I get it, they stroked my ego as a teen and it grew, and I ate it up. However, when I finally opened my eyes to the damage being done, even though it broke my heart to leave all my friends and start life over, I had no choice. I left. At least I was giving myself to become something of the person I could.

    And that is my biggest thing. I have become my own person. I own all a good chunk of me now. I once wrote that I would know I made it over the hump when I could say "Yeah, I used to be a Jehovah's Witness. Can you please pass the ketchup?" I have learned that most everyone has obstacles, born into less than favorable circumstances, but that you can also make something of your life.

    After 10 years out, one thing I have accepted is that we all want different things. Some people want to be a group. Some people want to be their own person. I used to want acceptance for all, these days, I'll settle for peaceful tolerance.

    Jehovah's Witnesses hurt me and my family in immeasurable ways. But I can't go back in time. I can only spend the time I have left.

    Time is on no one's side, but time is all we have. I hope for anyone who knows the unique experience of being a JW, who might consider leaving, or are in pain, that you will value your days, and value yourself. That is my message. After 10 years, I don't have a whole lot to offer on what the current teachings are from the deluded idiots running the place. But I do have some years of healing and growing. I will try to share if it seems appropriate. :) Peace and love to you all.

  • Queequeg


  • Landy

    You make your choices, as did I. It's difficult to move forward looking over your shoulder so put any negative thoughts about JWism to bed and enjoy your life.

  • Finkelstein

    Glad your doing well AlltimeJeff, I've always appreciated your comments and input on the forum.

  • wannaexit

    Hi AlltimeJeff, thank you for your words.

  • TerryWalstrom

    Good to see you again, A.T. Jeff!
    The Prodigal returns. Where's the fatted calf?
    Will you settle for a kale salad?

  • Still Totally ADD
    Still Totally ADD

    Good to hear from you again. Very nice insight you have on what you have gone through and how you are coping in your ten years of freedom. Take care. Still Totally ADD

  • Tahoe

    Very well put! Sounds healthy to me!

  • stillin

    Good to hear your voice again, Jeff. Glad you're doing well.

  • nowwhat?


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