Some of the stories that I am reading as this thread progesses are very interesting. Swan, I am amazed that your family was so flexible, and that's good to see.
Desire to talk to an elder
Read Ray Franz' two books, COC and ISOCF, and see if you still have the guilt..........
Hey Eppie,an elder will be looking to get you back into the Kingdung Hole,or to give you the axe.That`s just how it is..>>>Hey Sandy,go back and read the thread you started.You were treated kindly.In return you bad mouth us?You seem to want us to hate JW`s..Why? You`ve already been told most of us have friends and family in the dubs.You chose to ignore this,and insist this board has alot of JW haters on it.Once in your thread and again on this thread.When in fact it does not..There are some JW`s that are hated as individuals,because they are dirtbags.There are some JW`s that are liked,because they are good people..I am very suspicious of newbies that come to this board and try to lump us all together as JW haters.It makes them appear insincere as to their purpose on this board...OUTLAW
This post was the best I have seen- this person sounds like Ross Perow running mate – Stockton- the old guy who said WHO AM I, WHY AM I HERE
And now we have a poster saying the same thing- my suggestion to this poster is READ READ READ,, then you will fully understand why you are here, instead of at the Hall and studying with one of the outstanding spiritually mature pioneers in the hall
"I AM NOT SURE WHAT I AM DOING ON HERE"
Of course, I took the opposite route that you did and proceeded with the DA as I thought it more honorable at the time. More honorable? Ha. I don't know now. I sometimes think I played right into the Society's hand by doing that. That's exactly what they wanted of me and now my family is totally cut off from me and has been for 9 years this very week.
Now the poster above has hit the nail on the head about daing, too many former jw have no idea of how much the wt wants you to da yourself, time and time again I recommend unless you are the ONLY JW IN YOUR FAMILY or YOU ARE FULLY PREPARED for the ramification of daing then don't do it
And over and over since I have been here I read of folks who do it and then they realize that they were not ready
Many times it is not a matter of daing it's a matter of timing, if one is going to leave the org, PLEASE PLEASE make sure you have started to build your NEW CLIENTE OF FRIENDS so that when you do drop the da letter you have anothere safety net of friends to fall on
Most who da themselves have not setup any not friends so then when the Sh!t hits the fan they can't believe just how through and complete the jw shut down towards them actually is-
If one fades and builds up a new cliente of friends and the congo decides to do something you will then not give a rat's A$$-
After 30 yrs of being "DICKED" around by wt the hell if I'm filling out some Funky form they got called a "DAING LETTER" form number S-84
So for any lurker who is thinking about daing, you can do it cause it's your choice , just make sure you are prepared that 's all
hey Eppie .I am an old lady! 75...I was with the JW for over 20 years. I am friendly with many Circuit Servants, elders, Ms. ( all ex) & they tell me there a very few "elders" who keep your secrets to themselves...So If I was you I would "spill your guts: ( putting it rudely) to God.... He saw you do,what things your ashamed of... That is why he paid it all!!!because he knows there isn't one of us
who is with out sin NO NOT ONE!!!!Also just go on reading -listening etc to open your mind on what the mistakes the JW have made- the false prophets they are.... Now to Sandy.. Hey my love !!..Dont tell me I hate Jehovahs Witnesses ....I love them!! I have a daughter & grandchildren there. I spend ALL my days helping them.... When they are thrown out of their homes because they have a book or something they dont agree with in their bedroom or they say I dont believe that Jesus came invisably in 1914.I am on a very small pension ..If I hated JWs I sure wouldnt spend most of it on the JWs who are hurting! I would enjoy my freedom ---- But I know how difficult it is to get the Dub out of the person -It took me two years- I was df because I admitted I dont believe Jesus came invisably in 1914.I wanted to die. Being kicked off the ark!!!! But I have found out since - the only ark there is --is the Kingdom Hall - & many !!!NOT ALL!!!! are the animals....They lie- spread false things about those who are DF. So If you wouldnt mind PLEASE dont lump me in with the haters..... Because MY GOD IS A GOD OF LOVE!!!!!!! I am happy to know HIM....
Swan, I am amazed that your family was so flexible, and that's good to see.
It knocked me for a loop. I never ever thought any of them would compromise like that. I'm not sure it would have worked out with all of them though. I think my aunt was speaking for herself and possibly my mother, who had known how I felt for many many years but also looked the other way. In the end it was my father, who wasn't even baptized, who put his foot down and started the shunning. He was possibly influenced by my brother. So I don't know it would have played out for sure. But yes, it was amazing that they even brought up the idea!
Eppie, here's the best advice I've seen for you: Talk to us. If there's a group anywhere that knows the latest skinny and will be up front with you absent any agenda whatsoever, it's us.
Sandy, do you realize that posting in all caps is regarded as rude, crude, and abrasive? It also indicates that you yelled your entire message. Not only that, but ALL CAPS is hard to read. Please humor us old farts and write in caps and lower case?
And we'll attempt to answer all your questions, as well, Sandy.
I am sorry I have hurt or offended so many people. I really wasn't trying to. I do not think this is the place for me after all. Someone told me there is many different well-balanced views of JW's on this cite. I have seen some. Everyone else either just puts down the religion or the people in it. I understand a lot of you still have JW friends and family but that doesn't seem to stop you from bad mouthing the religion. And no I am not talking to everyone, just the majority and you must know who you are. I made a statement that I am not looking to trash talk the JW's and I am not looking to un-cover the faults with the people or the religion. I heard about the child abuse accusations and I believe that they are true. But, what I don't believe is that the Society advises the Elders and Overseers to cover these matters up. I do not agree with them not demanding the victims to go to the police. I believe that to be completely wrong. I know they justify the matter or at least try to. But not all of them. I can't believe that. I was in this situation and the Elders informed me that it is my decision weather or not I wanted to report the matter to the police and whatever I decided they would support me. I was already an adult at the time if that makes any difference, I don't know. Everyone's situation is different. YES I THINK THEY SHOULD CHANGE THIS COUNSEL, POLICY, AND RULE WHATEVER THEY CALL IT. THEY CAN CERTAINLY JUSTIFY HAVING TO REPORT THE MATTER TO THE GOVERNMENTAL AUTHORITIES THROUGH SCRIPTURE. WHY THEY DO NOT IS BEYOND ME. THIS IS SOMETHING I WILL ASK MY BROTHER. HE IS AN ELDER AND I KNOW HE WILL TRY TO ANSWER MY QUESTION WITHOUT JUDGING ME. (I AM NOT YELLING, JUST TRYING TO STRESS MY POINT) The more I think about this the more disturbed I become. WHY DOESN'T THE SOCIETY MAKE IT MANDATORY TO REPORT THESE MATTERS TO THE POLICE? OR DO THEY? ISN'T THAT A CRIME IF THEY DON'T? Can someone explain to me how they get out of this? I guess I really do need to do some research on my own. I cannot say I agree with everything people are saying on here, but on this Child Abuse Issue YOU ARE RIGHT ON!!! This is a very serious issue too, so unless I get some real answers from them or unless they follow Bible Principles to Obey the Laws of the Land AND REPORT THE ABUSERS I will not feel guilty about not being a active Witness.
I am sorry I have hurt or offended so many people. I really wasn't trying to. I do not think this is the place for me after all.
I am sorry if I said anything to hurt or offend you. That was not my intention either. You have not offended me. I know where you are coming from, since I was once there myself. I was so nervous when I first talked to "apostates" on the web, but I too felt compelled to be here. I trusted my instincts and remained. I found some old, dear, friends and made some new ones.
I was in this situation and the Elders informed me that it is my decision weather or not I wanted to report the matter to the police and whatever I decided they would support me. I was already an adult at the time if that makes any difference, I don't know. Everyone's situation is different. YES I THINK THEY SHOULD CHANGE THIS COUNSEL, POLICY, AND RULE WHATEVER THEY CALL IT. THEY CAN CERTAINLY JUSTIFY HAVING TO REPORT THE MATTER TO THE GOVERNMENTAL AUTHORITIES THROUGH SCRIPTURE. WHY THEY DO NOT IS BEYOND ME. THIS IS SOMETHING I WILL ASK MY BROTHER. HE IS AN ELDER AND I KNOW HE WILL TRY TO ANSWER MY QUESTION WITHOUT JUDGING ME. (I AM NOT YELLING, JUST TRYING TO STRESS MY POINT) The more I think about this the more disturbed I become. WHY DOESN'T THE SOCIETY MAKE IT MANDATORY TO REPORT THESE MATTERS TO THE POLICE? OR DO THEY? ISN'T THAT A CRIME IF THEY DON'T?
I am truly sorry for the abuse you suffered. I am glad your elders supported you during that difficult time. Some others have reported this too. However, many here are child abuse victims. They went to their elders and nothing was done about the matter. Some here were elders who tried to report the abuse to the Society, but were told not to divulge any information to the police. The trauma these children have suffered was not only for the abuse they went through, but also because the problem was swept under the rug. They didn't get the closure they needed. So you are right there. The Society should change this policy. That is what some here are actively doing. Trying to get the Society to see the need to change this.
Now I need to tell you something. I was abused as a child too, and some of it was of a sexual nature. It happened long ago, and I have since worked through it and found some closure. I don't know if it will come up again in the future for me or not, but if it does, I have learned skills to cope with it. I never went to the elders with it. I didn't even really recognize it for what it was until years later.
Someone told me there is many different well-balanced views of JW's on this cite. I have seen some. Everyone else either just puts down the religion or the people in it. I understand a lot of you still have JW friends and family but that doesn't seem to stop you from bad mouthing the religion. And no I am not talking to everyone, just the majority and you must know who you are. I made a statement that I am not looking to trash talk the JW's and I am not looking to un-cover the faults with the people or the religion.
If you would like to talk to me by email, let me know and I will be glad to just listen. I promise not to bad mouth the JW's or their religion. I won't email you unless you say it is okay, so either reply here to this thread, or send it to my email box care of this website.
Hey Eppie, I would say that the advice you have asked for has been duly given.
Sandy, my oh my...what to say.
I can relate to some of how you feel, as I was once hyper-sensitive to any opinion other than what I knew as a Jehovah's Witness, even after I had recently exited.
When there is an honest opinion given that is not the general wordspeak of a practicing Jehovah's Witness, when you are newly out of the organization, it will still come across as 'Witness Bashing' or 'Witness Hating', to you.
Really it isn't...but that takes a great deal of time to really believe that....and trust me....I know, I know, I've been there. And even me writing this...will not convince you otherwise.
Mouthy's comments are definitely ones to consider, as she is probably the most lovable grandmother on this forum.
It is going to take some time Sandy. That's about all I can truly say. I wish you no ill will, whatsoever.
Eppie, I hope that the question you posed to the forum has been useful. No one has fudged any answers or made-up anything. We wish you well. I hope you will heed the advice kindly given, and for free.