Jesika,,,,,,, I read this as soon as you asked me to ,,,,,,,in chat today........ It is a good letter, to the point and the ball is left in his court......... BUT......... as I have said your dad sounds like mine,,,,,,,,and the kind of man my dad is ,,,,,he will NEVER admit fault. There are things in my childhood he will not discuss, I am nothing but a reminder of what was once a bad dream to him. I am part of the first woman who gave birth to his child and now,,,,,,,,he wants to sweep me under the carpet , like I don't exsist.....Sad but true. Jesika, when you send this letter, it may be the final chapter in you and your dad's relationship.....I am sure if he doesnt want to admit he was wrong it is the best thing. I know on my side of the story,,,,,,,I am better off , an orphan,,,,,,motherless and fatherless, than to have someone who will not admit they are wrong, they were wrong.
I may stand alone, but really Jes ,, we have ourselves to be true to. We have partners that are steadfast and true, children that know the truth, friends who know the truth......we have to come to terms that ,,that is the way it has to be. And yet,,,,,, we are better off ......... because we don't have to listen to their poison anymore or take their abuse even thou we are grown. Healing means moving forward,,,,,,,,and as hard as that is,,,,,,,, as painful as it is........ we have to let it die it's own death......and move on. I am just saying this to you Jes, because I havent written my dad a letter,,,,, I am not sure he would be allowed to read it, if his wife finds it first,,,,how sad is that........she said many times the letters my sister wrote to my dad were thrown away before even being opened........That is the way my dad is letting things be........ he has made his stand, either by letting that woman he married rule the roost or,,,,,,,even worse him acting like I never exsited. How can a man,,,,,,, feed, diaper, bathe, put to sleep a precious little child and then not care about that GROWN little girl anymore?????????? We just can not comprehend this Jesika, because as mothers, we would DIE for our children,,,,,we feel too much........ but I swear I would rather be known as loving my kids too much than not enough.
We can't change our Daddies,,,,, we can't make them love us....... we can say what is on our mind for our own peace of mind,,,,,,but we cant change them. Jes, I havent written my dad a letter yet........I am not sure I will give him the satisfaction of knowing how bad I hurt. But that is just me, that is just what I feel right now. I cry sometimes thinking of him dead and me at his funeral........but I will face that when I have too.
Just like you have to face what you feel you have to right now.........I support you on whatever you decide to do.............love ya always.......dede ( Jes, I hope I havent said too much......please know I write this wondering if I have overstepped what I should say, but I only say what I feel in my heart right now)