What will JJ Abrams and Disney do for Star Wars episode IX?

by LoveUniHateExams 23 Replies latest social entertainment

  • No Apologies
    No Apologies

    I really don't know how they can salvage this final trilogy, when each movie just trashes what came before. Let's see, Return of the Jedi saw the rebels overthrow the evil Empire and restore freedom to the Galaxy. But then somehow the First Order manages to take out the New Republic in about 15 minutes, and Luke turned out to be a loser. Ok.. So we have new characters, with new mysteries, introduced in Force Awakens. All of which gets tossed out in the Last Jedi. What's left??

  • MeanMrMustard
    MeanMrMustard

    I’m telling you, it’s not about salvage. It’s about liberation!

    You’ll see Luke’s force ghost appear in the bathroom stall next to Kilo (uni-gender, of course), softly at first: “It’s a small world after all.... It’s a small world..” Then louder, “It’s a small small world!” Kilo will ignite his light saber, full of righteous indignation, and bright orange eyes, he strikes through the stall walls, swinging wildly until he comes face to face with his former master. He will thrust his saber forward into his chest... and Luke will say, “I’m a force ghost you idiot. You can’t kill me. It’s a small world after all... It’s a small world after all...”

    Later we learn Kilo just offs himself to shut Luke up. The galaxy is saved again.

    Han’s force ghost appears and asks Luke out on a date to the Jedi island to drink blue ball sack tits milk.

    Lando shows up again and wants to pan sexualize Chewy.

  • truth_b_known
    truth_b_known

    Star Wars "jumped the shark" with The Last Jedi. It is the only Star Wars film I have only watched once. Solo was better. The actor they got to portray young Han Solo is awful.

    My recommendation for Star Wars viewing is as follows -

    Watch Rogue One

    Watch Star Wars: A New Hope (original version)

    Watch Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (original version), but stop it just before Vader's big plot reveal.

    Return of the Jedi was a big let down. The prequel trilogy is garbage. The new movies are worse than garbage.

  • LoveUniHateExams
    LoveUniHateExams

    The actor they got to portray young Han Solo is awful - yeah, I can see why you say this. But, to be fair, any actor attempting to fill Harrison Ford's boots would have been a let down. Harrison Ford IS Han Solo.

    Watch Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (original version), but stop it just before Vader's big plot reveal - What?! XD

    I thought that reveal was pretty good. Imagine watching that movie in the cinema in 1980 and hearing

    "No, I am your father"

    Return of the Jedi was a big let down - there are definitely bad points with RotJ. Such as Leia being Luke's sister, the ewoks defeating an entire legion of imperial troops, Boba Fett's lame-ass death.

    But what about the good points ...

    Jabba the Hutt (decent puppet)

    The Sarlacc

    The speeder bike chase

    The final space battle, including ships flying into the Death Star

    The scenes with Luke, Vader and the Emperor in the 3rd act, e.g.

    "You've failed, Your Highness. I am a Jedi, like my father before me"

    and

    "You can't die, father, I've come hear to save you"

    "You already have, Luke"

    The prequel trilogy is garbage - agreed.

    The new movies are worse than garbage - agreed.

  • Vidiot
    Vidiot

    I thought I saw a few (metaphorical) sparks fly between Rey and Poe when they met for the first time at the end of Last Jedi.

    Seriously though, I personally like the fact that they did a few things a bit differently in Episode 8.

    And I think I read somewhere recently that it was discovered that much of the online vitriol has been - believe it or not - tracked back to bots run by Russian cyber-operatives whose goal was making it appear as though American culture was getting more polarized, and thusly less unified overall.

    Seriously.

  • Simon
    Simon

    I haven't bothered seeing Solo either and the Last Jedi movie? The motivation and plot lines didn't make sense and if you could have one person take out an empire battle-fleet of ships like that then why was there the need for using the force to drop bombs into the Death Star ... twice.

    They didn't have the balls to kill Leia when they should (after the actress died) and have her do some ridiculous super-man fly through space but then they have killed off major characters who still had plenty of story arc left for cheap "OMG, a major character DIES!" drama.

    Star Wars is ruined. It survived the prequels but now they have finally killed it. You can't even watch the original movies anymore with much enjoyment when you know how futile everything is.

    The force is a retarded space-jelly in the new version and it makes no sense.

    Rogue One was a good movie but overall it just feels like it's a corporation wanting to squeeze all the profit they can out of a franchise instead of a group of people wanting to tell a great story and make great movies and entertain the audience.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Before most of you-all's time, but when an entire season of the television show DALLAS was made into a dream so that a dead character could be brought back on, I cease to wonder where continual series scripts can take you.

    In Star Wars movies, a character is not gone just because he is dead.
    In Star Wars movies, a previously cut scene can be put back in and a live actor can be covered over with Jabba the Hut, so the point is that much footage exists, much technology exists to change it or make it different.

    I suspect it will be similar to scripts of the past where there is a new super weapon that all good guys must overcome. Maybe Kylo Ren will die but turn away from the dark side.
    Chewbacca is very much alive, so maybe Lando and Chewbacca will save the day....or maybe the droids will have a bigger role in it all. R2D2 will turn out to the new leader of freedom.

    Who cares? It is fun to speculate, but in the end, it's a movie that many over-involved fans will get upset about.

  • MeanMrMustard
    MeanMrMustard
    Chewbacca is very much alive, so maybe Lando and Chewbacca will save the day....

    Oh Chewy and Lando will save the day alright... then retreat to the falcon for a night of leather chaps, helium balloons, and loud circus music.

    #HeForShe

  • LoveUniHateExams
    LoveUniHateExams

    And I think I read somewhere recently that it was discovered that much of the online vitriol has been - believe it or not - tracked back to bots run by Russian cyber-operatives whose goal was making it appear as though American culture was getting more polarized - please watch this star wars fan's response to a PhD thesis on the very subject. Well worth a look.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8BtYu8sJd8

    Star Wars is ruined. It survived the prequels but now they have finally killed it - yes, I find it very difficult to draw an alternative conclusion, hence the OP. May be the slave boy at the end will play some kind of role in episode IX? Grasping at straws here! XD

    The force is a retarded space-jelly in the new version and it makes no sense - XD couldn't've put it better.

    Rogue One was a good movie but overall it just feels like it's a corporation wanting to squeeze all the profit they can out of a franchise instead of a group of people wanting to tell a great story and make great movies and entertain the audience - yeah, Rogue One was pretty good but it was a kinda by the numbers movie.

    I'm not not sure if it's a good movie or if I like it because it has Vader, Tarkin and original trilogy-era ships - I haven't worked it out yet. XD


  • Vidiot
    Vidiot

    I don't care what anyone says about Rogue One...

    ...as far as I'm concerned, the space battle over the planet Scarif at the end was worth the price of admission alone.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit