DesirousOfChange
I gather you escaped while in your 30’s. Evidently, I’m a “slow learner” as it took me another 20 years.
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I was 12 years old when I met my "Best Friend" in elementary school, Johnny Santa Cruz.
We bonded over a love for Monster movies and Jerry Lewis comedies.
He always brought up the Bible and started asserting bits of "DID YOU KNOW" factoids that actually
made me feel stupid. My family were not church goers but they believed in God and there was a Bible in the house.
In other words, I was pig-ignorant about Doctrine or the gestalt of the Bible.
Johnny and I were intellectually competitive.
He presented a challenge.
I couldn't match him fact for fact at all. I knew NOTHING about the Bible.
I had a huge vocabulary and I was well-read and quick-witted but HE KNEW the Bible.
It was like a boxing match with one of the fighters' hands tied behind his back.
WHAT TO DO?
We started a "Bible study" and I was smart enough to point out to him that the PARADISE BOOK
was NOT the Bible. Oh, I gave him a very hard time and he remained exasperated but patient.
I was invited to the KINGDOM HALL.
Spending so much time with his family and comparing them to my family - I felt very comfortable going with them and checking it out.
LOVE BOMBING, friendliness, smiling faces, a welcoming spirit REALLY sucked me in. I was horribly shy but a very bright kid. I could soak up those books and memorize scriptures and I blossomed like field of sunflowers.
THAT was my beginning of indoctrination. Very pleasant and quite intensive.
It is easy for me to memorize complicated things. The Bible (and JW doctrine) is a labyrinth of blind alleys.
Did I "believe" any of it? Hmmmm.
Honestly, I didn't have to FEEL belief because I had a head full of DATA and I became conversant.
Back in those days of the nineteen fifties and early sixties, there was no such thing as
Asperger's or Spectrum disorder syndromes.
I WOULD HAVE BEEN a shining example, had there been.
The Kingdom Hall / Jehovah's Witness experience was my THERAPY. It worked for me.
I learned to meet strangers, shake their hand.
I learned to be outgoing (I was faking it till I became real).
I learned public speaking (bye bye shyness - I had a real talent).
You know how it works - we've all been there.
My starting date was 1959 and I lasted until 1979. I was baptised the say after JFK was shot.
November 23, 1963
GOING TO PRISON was a COMING OF AGE experience for me as a person, a boy into MAN.
I formed a BOND with other Brothers and learned to talk to God.
I was transformed into a TRUE BELIEVER as soon as I lied about not being raped.
I convinced myself!
Amazing how the mind works when it isn't working.
When I was paroled, I was out of my frickin' mind. I was a rabid JW, on fire, irrepressible.
Over a space of 4 years I got worn down to the bone.
My mind crashed. I was a cornered and desperate animal looking to bite or to escape.
I escaped to California with my wife and three tiny kids.
I remained a JW on the margins as my ART career blossomed.
I made "worldly" friends who treated me wonderfully well and they were good, fine humans.
NOT the kind of worldly I had had stigmatized inside my head.
I could say the JW mantra words and go through the motions but splitting my personality
like that was exhausting and unhealthy. I started SEEING and HEARING the empty
phrases and excuses for 1975 FAILURE among the Brothers.
That was the tipping point.
JW FAITHFUL are talented at talking themselves into it and among each other.
IT IS ALL PIOUS FRAUD.
20 years through the sausage grinder.
That was more than enough for me.
I BECAME A HUMAN BEING because the JW's taught me how to communicate with other human beings.
I became mentally strong because I made it through 1967-69 among criminals and abuse.
I fond it - I lost it - I found it.
Over and over.
What is "it"?
IT IS ME. Experiencing LIFE through many lenses.
I've been up, down, over, and out - like the Frank Sinatra song :)
THAT's LIFE for everybody. Some slower, some faster.
Age 12 to Age 32.
That's more information than anybody asked for - but there it is.
THAT'S LIFE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvfImv9NseY
That's life
(That's life)
That's what all the people say
You're riding high in April, shot down in May
But I know I'm gonna change that tune
When I'm back on top, back on top in June
I said that's life
(That's life)
And as funny as it may seem
Some people get their kicks
Stomping on a dream
But I don't let it, let it get me down
Cause this fine old world, it keeps spinnin' around
I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet
A pawn and a king
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing
Each time I find myself
Flat on my face
I pick myself up and get
Back in the race
That's life
(That's life)
I tell you, I can't deny it
I thought of quitting, baby
But my heart just ain't gonna buy it
And if I didn't think it was worth one single try
I'd jump right on a big bird and then I'd fly
I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet
A pawn and a king
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing
Each time I find myself layin'
Flat on my face
I just pick myself up and get
Back in the race
That's life
(That's life)
That's life and I can't deny it
Many times I thought of cutting out but my heart won't buy it
But if there's nothing shaking come this here July
I'm gonna roll myself up
In a big ball and die
My, my
