Welcome to the Board, Berylblue!
Yep. Felt all of those things. Still do, to a lesser degree. I really, really, really bought into the Utopian dream of paradise where a loving Jesus would use good shepherds to help us live together in peace with happiness, sharing, caring, etc..... Then again, I never really bought into the "everyone but JWs will be destroyed" thinking, so perhaps I was a closet rebel from the start.
I hope you will make yourself at home here and feel free to express all the stages of shock and mourning that go with the revelation that you've been supporting The Lie. It hurts, no matter how little or how long you walked the walk. The loss is great, but the great thing here is that we all understand, we're escapees from the same prison... and we speak the prison argot, too.
Do you have family still in? How will you incorporate your newfound knowledge into your life now? Be careful how you proceed, even though you feel you're on a spiraling downward roller coaster ride. Not everyone can bear to hear the truth about "The Truth."