SEX, monogamy, baboons, etc.

by DanTheMan 32 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Hojon

  Derek-

  The one exception I'd say to your point about "10s with 10s, etc" is in the case of money. Frequently women that are 10s will marry/reproduce with men that are, at most, a 4 but have a ton of money.
  
  I'm not saying all women are like this, but enough of them are that it needs to be factored in. Of course, this could easily be explained in evolutionary terms of needed a provider while they are pregnant.

  I've seen stats that claim as many as 1 in 10 children are not related to their "dad" and that they are the product of one of your illicit meetings with an alpha male. I have no idea how accurate that is, but DNA testing should be standard on all live births IMO.
• 

  rebel

  Personally, I don't care what a man looks like. All I want is someone that doesn't shout at me or demean me. I want to be me without feeling inferior. I want someone who is kind and gentle and who doesn't shout all the time. That's all. Are there any men out there like that? Not the one I married!

  xxR
• 

  Elsewhere

  OK... time for the "Nice Guy" to chime in.

  I'm the type who is stable, kind, gentle, patent, and very romantic... I'm also financially well off. Yet at the same time, I'm lucky to have more than one date a year.

  It is my experience that most women initially want to be thrilled/excited by their date. They want all kinds of attention and to go out doing all kinds of fun things. The more impulsive, assertive and aggressive the guy is, the more "turned on" the woman is.

  Once the woman "has" the man, she suddenly wants to "house break" him. Now she wants a stable, kind, gentle, patent, and very romantic man. But what she went out and got was an impulsive, assertive and aggressive man who only wants to scratch his ass and drink beer while watching the game with his buddies.

  I think the problem is this: Women want a man like me, but won't fall for him unless he first thrills/excites her... which leads her to skip him for the jerk, who she will later regret having.
• 

  Xander

  DNA testing should be standard on all live births IMO

  Why on EARTH would you want that, though? If the female had doubts that offspring from an illicit relationship would be cared for, they would not occur.

  Evidence to date is that such pairing are fairly necessary for our genetic good. A large number of children from the same genetic pairing is a very bad thing for a local gene pool (unless, of course, the resulting offpsring all take off to different parts of the world - which usually is not the case).

  Are there any men out there like that? Not the one I married!

  Well, it's kinda OT, but....yeah....most of them. You apparently got a bad nut...toss it back and go fishing for another.

  OH! Tip for free...if you want to save time in the search, look for agnostics. Although it's a stereotype (and they are wrong), it is true that an above-the-average number of christian men (especially fundies) hold that women are inferior (well, it does say so in the bible).

  Atheists tend to have a similar problem - they may well be too egotistical. The problem with either group is that they feel they are right and have all the answers. This is not good for a equal-to-equal relationship.

  That's certainly not true for all of either group - indeed, maybe even not most - but agnostics for the most part are already starting with the assumption that they don't have all the answers, which is a good place to be if you are looking for someone to treat you as an equal.
• 

  dubla

  As people generally pair up with someone roughly on their level, 10s with 10s, 9s with 9s etc.,

  really? where do you live? around here, we are always trying to figure out why the hottest girls are paired up with mostly below-average looking guys (and thats being nice). people we see in public, and even a lot of guys i know fit in this category. one of my friends has a theory: that the not-so-great-looking guys are more approachable, and that the majority of the women (even if they are hot) have a lower self-esteem and are less-likely to approach the "hot" guys. who knows, but i can tell you for sure, this 10s with 10s theory is right out the window in indiana. im sure south beach and california fit the profile better.

  aa

  Edited by - dubla on 12 February 2003 12:13:47
• 

  funkyderek

  The one exception I'd say to your point about "10s with 10s, etc" is in the case of money. Frequently women that are 10s will marry/reproduce with men that are, at most, a 4 but have a ton of money.

  Of course, although that's not really an exception. Looks are not the only thing we choose a partner for. As you said, from a genetic point of view, women want their children to be well looked after and provided for. A man with money can obviously do that. Also, he would at least appear to have the genes for making money (essentially the genes for being a success) which a woman would want her children to have, making him more attractive to women than he would be if he were poor.
• 

  funkyderek

  really? where do you live? around here, we are always trying to figure out why the hottest girls are paired up with mostly below-average looking guys (and thats being nice). people we see in public, and even a lot of guys i know fit in this category. one of my friends has a theory: that the not-so-great-looking guys are more approachable, and that the majority of the women (even if they are hot) have a lower self-esteem and are less-likely to approach the "hot" guys. who knows, but i can tell you for sure, this 10s with 10s theory is right out the window in indiana. im sure south beach and california fit the profile better.

  Like you said, it may be self-esteem, money, some other cultural factor or it may be that you think all other guys are ugly and can't understand why these hot women aren't going out with you

  Another possibility is that while women may pair up with "below-average looking guys" who treat them well, they may cheat on them with above-average looking men. Recent studies show a tendency for women to find more masculine looking men attractive when they are ovulating. They may want a good provider but their genes want a big strong hunk.

  In general, though, I think the point stands, that most people end up with someone who's about as good as they can get. It's usually more than just looks, and in our life choices, we are not completely restricted by our genes, so it's not a hard-and-fast rule.
• 

  SheilaM

  Well all I know is I married a cutie and he finds me to be a hottie so what more could a girl want
• 

  Hojon

  Why on EARTH would you want that, though? If the female had doubts that offspring from an illicit relationship would be cared for, they would not occur.

  Evidence to date is that such pairing are fairly necessary for our genetic good. A large number of children from the same genetic pairing is a very bad thing for a local gene pool (unless, of course, the resulting offpsring all take off to different parts of the world - which usually is not the case).

  That's exactly the reason I would want to do that. If those numbers are right (and I think they are too high) then men have a right to know that the kid is theirs. Not only that, if women knew that they would be caught, then I suspect it would not happen as much, or they would get an abortion.
  
  I do NOT want to raise another man's child, talk about a slap in the face. Not only is your wife stepping out on you, but you are forced to look at the result of that infidelity every day.

  Genetically you are right, which was my point above. However, that doesn't mean I have to accept it or like it. I got married, despite my belief that we are not biologically driven to mate for life. We humans have culture and social norms that at times override our biology, nothing wrong with that.

  In general, though, I think the point stands, that most people end up with someone who's about as good as they can get. It's usually more than just looks, and in our life choices, we are not completely restricted by our genes, so it's not a hard-and-fast rule.

  Yup. There are several things that go into it, but in general we get about the best that we can.

  Edited by - Hojon on 12 February 2003 13:55:57
• 

  ESTEE

  LOL at some of these ideas!!!

  I liked Seinfeld's theory. He was looking around at all the strange looking couples paired up. Now he is a perfectly nice ordinary looking guy ... maybe a little too particular about some things ... sooo he says,

  "Now how come these fat people have dates and I don't!"

  <note disclaimer here: hey, not my words . . . I saw it on the show>

  Then he hesitates, then the light bulb comes on. . .

  "I know!". . . Alcohol . . ."

  Ahhhhhh . . . life doesn't have to be complicated . . .

  LMAO!!! at that show!!

  ESTEE