SEX, monogamy, baboons, etc.

by DanTheMan 32 Replies latest jw friends

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  DanTheMan

  Ok, there's this (supposedly married but sometimes that doesn't mean much)guy at work that the girls are sooo into, they just fall at his feet. And yes, he is very good looking, one in a thousand maybe. You should have seen the way they did up his work area for his birthday today. Girls and guys, you both know the sort of guy I'm talking about. The one that the ladies just can't get enough of, to where they are competing for his attention. And you know that he could have any one of them, all he would have to do is whisper in their ear & make the arrangements. ("We'll both call off sick tomorrow, meet me at..." the bumps & grinds follow in short order)

  It made me think - it seems that monogamy is something that is somewhat forced, and that if it weren't for the social pressures to pair off, people would be more like baboons. Baboons form packs of males and females, but only 1 of the males gets to mate with the ladies. Should any of the other males try to mount one of the girlies, his butt gets whooped big time by the alpha male. It seems like humans are similar in that there are certain guys who have that sort of magic appeal to women, and it isn't always good looks. The only thing that allows the more shmuckly among us to get some is the social constraints in our society.

  So what do you think? Is monogamy/pairing off unnatural? Was it invented by jealous guys who couldn't get any because alpha males like King Solomon kept all the women to themselves?

  For atheists, your basis for morality is collective self interest, right? Does monogamy serve this interest? Or does it cause weak genes to be passed on?

  Dan, jealous-beta-male class
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  LuckyLucy

  LOL! "Pairing off" was not invented.I believe it is just a natural instict ,many animals have the same mates for life.What woman in her right mind would want to share a man with other women,don't care how hot he is, I'm not sharing!

  I usually don't go for the drop dead gorgeous guy,they are usually egotistical or just plain dumb. I like a guy that is highly intelligent and has a great sense of humor.I would gladly date Robin Williams over Tom Cruise any day of the week.

  Edited by - LuckyLucy on 11 February 2003 18:30:22

  Edited by - LuckyLucy on 11 February 2003 18:31:2
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  DanTheMan

  I usually don't go for the drop dead gorgeous guy,they are usually egotistical or just plain dumb. I like a guy that is highly intelligent and has a great sense of humor

  If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that one...

  Reminds me of that Lexus commercial from a couple years ago, where the girl is chatting with her friend on her cell phone - "You know, I need someone who is sensitive to my neeeeds..." and all that business.

  Then the rugged, touseled-hair playboy pulls up in his GS300 - "Gotta Go!" she says.

  Girls, admit it, you want a stud more than anything else. It's what your instincts tell you!
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  Hojon

  There are several biological items that make me believe that we are not "supposed" to pair up for life. These include

  • Three kinds of sperm, one that actively seeks out and kills sperm that is from a different donor than itself
  • High divorce rate. Were we genetically programmed to be lifelong partners, there would be no divorces.
  • Lifespan. We live way longer than nature needs us for reproduction and therefore tend to "outlive" relationships.

  Had a conversation with the wife about this last night as a matter of fact.
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  JamesThomas

  Soon to be X-wife I take it.
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  Hojon

  Heh. No, we're very open about this sort of thing. We don't actually do anything about it, but admitting that marriages sometimes take work to keep going is not bad. I mean, if we were biologically programmed to mate for life we would.
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  ESTEE

  I'm not sharing! I want a man that is just for meeeee!!! Alllll miiiiine!!!

  ESTEE
• 

  SPAZnik

  DanTheJealousBetaMan ;)

  For atheists, your basis for morality is collective self interest, right?

  What brings you to that conclusion? And how does that differ from theists basis for morality?

  Girls, admit it, you want a stud more than anything else. It's what your instincts tell you!

  Thing iz, how I define "stud" and how you define "stud" and how all the girls on the block define "stud" is TOTALLY subjective and individual, at least, to me.

  I'm not usually of the "stud-bandwagon" klass. I've always felt more like a trend setter in this area. I hafta be reawy quiet and careful about who i reeeeeeally think iz a stud, cuz one little whisper about who i like and the competitive/jealous/insecure type girls seem to suddenly take a liking to a fellow they previously never even noticed on their own or really cared anything about. It happens every time, and it works for me more than against me. But then, that's just how i look at it.

  Dan, sure women like a stud. But each woman defines stud differently. Sounds to me like the women after this guy define stud as "a guy all the other girls like" or even just "taken", they like a fierce competition aka cat-fight too. He can have 'em. You just hang in there and trust that there is enuf success and love for everyone, you'll get yours and from the sounds of it, odds are that you'll have an easier time getting higher quality ones that'll notice your individual studly qualities rather than the type of girl that'll just jump on the "flavour of the week/month/year" bandwagon. Unless of course you like that type of girl. Wait'll u run in a circle where you're the "alpha male" you'll find out the grass isn't always greener.

  So what do you think? Is monogamy/pairing off unnatural?

  Depends on my mood.

  SPAZ
• 

  Realist

  there was actually a study about this...apparently marriage was invented by woman in woman ruled societies to make sure older woman get supported. in the animal kingdom most animals die while they still have the ability to propagate...not so in humans...woman get infertile but still continue to live for 30 or more years. in nature infertile individuals are worthless so something had to be invented.
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  DanTheMan

  Spaz,

  My comment about the atheist's basis for morality wasn't meant to be a diss at all, and I agree that the morality of a theist is basically the same. I was just wondering how those who have totally put the idea of "God" away feel about monogamy.

  Hojon, with that "killer sperm" thing - I've read about that too, and boy is that a cold splash of reality! We're just sophisticated apes, aren't we! Really, it is all about "survival of the fittest" isn't it?

  I've been doing so much thinking about that very thing, "survival of the fittest". That is why this situation at work sparked more than the usual interest in me. I used to be so jealous of situations like this, and I still am to a certain degree (because to be honest I wish that I was one of those "natural" guys that can't go wrong with the babes) but now I just observe & ponder a little more.

  I have an autistic brother who obviously is never going to have children, and it's starting to look like it may turn out the same for me. I wonder if my lack of success in establishing a relationship with a woman is nature's way of saying, nope, that genetic line has gone far enough. The buck stops here!