Do you worry that they might be right?

by Ravyn 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • Ravyn

    You are not alone. I am also on the Yahoo ExitFundyism Board and it is amazing how many times the posts mirror each other between here and there. I thot this might be relevant in light of current events, so I am copying the posts from this thread to share here. The answer makes a very good point that I think we can all appreciate and I never quite thought of in that way before. here it is:

    ***Did all of you in coming to the stage of disentangling
    themselves from the web of fundie thinking go through a stage of
    worrying that they were forsaking the faith, turning backs on God,
    being deceived from the truth, worrying that they are not
    understanding the bible properly so are misreading the so called
    contradictions, worrying that if forsake Christianity they will lose
    out on the hope they had in eternal life and not see family members
    again, etc.It would be too terrifying for me to give it up as i dont know a better way to go.So am I not there yet or am I just an unsatisfied christian.---R. ***

    ***Rest Assured R...this is an absolutely normal stage! I went
    through it...and sometimes when my guard is down...go through it some
    Fundamentalism is a wonderfully constructed cult mindset. Because
    they condition you to believe that everything that doesn't agree with
    their view (even though ANYONE not indoctrinated already who sees all
    the information up front knows their view is illogical and immoral.)
    is "of the devil" So if you start to leave at remember
    it's "of the devil" you feel guilt or self-doubt about leaving and
    you have been conditioned to interpret that as: "The Holy Spirit
    Convicting you and leading you back." they even have this thing set
    up, the concept of a reprobate if you are actually able to
    overcome all this...then it means (according to them) that you have
    a "reprobate mind" and the Holy Spirit has decided to leave you
    alone. It's insanely brilliant...
    At any rate...this is a normal phase. Your intuition is not of the
    devil...and your self-doubt is due to conditioning and fear that you
    might be wrong.
    Ultimately the most important thing to hang on to is what LOVE is. I
    Corinthians 13 (in their own holy book no less) describes love many parts of the bible it says "God is Love" IF their
    God exists and he is described by their own holy
    book...then he isn't going to roast anyone in Hell and he will
    understand why you left the faith...because you were in a spiritually
    abusive environment...and it's better for you to find God on your own
    in a non-hostile environment...or not to believe in God...than to
    believe out of fear of retribution if you don't.

    Also...think of the Mormons, the Amish, Jehovah's Witnesses, members
    of other various and sundry cults, extremist muslims, fundie
    Catholics (if you aren't catholic)...if you were raised protestant were raised to believe all these groups are wrong...but
    all the people leaving these groups go through the EXACT same
    feelings that have been interpreted for them the EXACT same
    you. They can't all be your feelings are a result of your
    indoctrination...not proof of empirical truth.

    It may take some all depends on how thoroughly you were
    indoctrinated...but just keep close to your heart those two things
    (Love and all it entails, and the experiences of fundies outside of
    your faith who have left [as a side might be a good idea
    for you to read stories of those who have left the groups mentioned
    above...when you see how similar they are to your own story you will
    realize that your feelings are the feelings of ALL people who have
    left fundamentalism...not just your brand of it...and you will have
    an amazing peace knowing that your experience of fear has nothing to
    do with the truth.
    ]) ---Z. ***

    (bold is mine)some pretty good advice! another thing my husband said to me today when we were talking about how JWs will be sitting back on their thumbs with smiles on their faces saying 'we told you so' about current events---he said if you 'prophesy' about BAD news, it will always come true--sooner or later.


  • outbackaussie

    Yes, Ravyn, I spent years totally convinced they were right and I was going to die at Armageddon somtetime soon. Your post covers the gambit of emotion one would expect to deal with upon leaving the WTS.

    I don't hold the conviction now that I did when I first left the org, but it was a strong and driving influence in my life for some 3-4 years after leaving. I simply don't believe any of the doctrinal or biblical teachings anymore. There is no longer a hold over me and I don't go to bed wondering if I will die at Armageddon tomorrow. I don't believe there will be an Armageddon...ever. That is of course, MHO.

    There would be comfort in knowing that you are not alone in your feelings of fear and anxiety though, and perhaps even a help with healing the painful wounds that come with such a life-altering decision to leave what has been, in many cases, your life behind.

  • reporter

    Jehovah's Witnesses could be wrong, and people die in "Armageddon", or its equivalent, too. I deal with it. Strong faith, and not being afraid of death, are what has to sustain me. Some people don't seem to realize, flying a space shuttle is dangerous. Terrorism is dangerous. War is dangerous. Eating everyday processed food is dangerous. Contracting food-borne illness is dangerous. Transportation has different degrees of danger. Skydiving and bungee-jumping are dangerous, but fun! Life is dangerous. If you can't cope, you'll go looney.

    If you read both of Ray Franz' books, through and through, carefully, and come to the conclusion that the Jehovah's Witnesses are in error, just like any other religion, then the TRUTH will set you free knowing that, because you have the evidence. You then can accept the unacceptable, and hopefully one can peacefully leave here knowing at least some TRUTH. Truth worth dying for, and leaving whatever happens after we die in our Creator's hands.

  • kwijibo

    Jw teaching has at least taught me that there is nothing after this life. (Very bad move there Jw's) So i don't really give a rats ass what happens to me. If it is going to come - BRING IT ON. I plan to find me a gun and blow my head clean off. Only as a last resort mind you. Paradise shmaradise - i couldn't live with more of that mind numbing crap for the next 100.000 years - i would go completely stark raving mad.


  • cruzanheart

    No. Next question.


  • Brummie

    LMAO @ Nina

    Funny how you can sum up the answer in just 2 little letters, lol.


  • LyinEyes

    Very good points Rayvn and Reporter, I guess if I am honest with myself, with this war about to start , I find myself feeling the uneasiness start . I have to repeat almost word for word what both of you said, reinforcing that the doubts of my choice are just remnants of leaving the cult. That is it normal and just part of deprogramming myself to let go of the fear tactics they use.

    I am in fear not really so much for my kids, but the teaching that we were taught that our children's lives will be in our hands, so we better make the right choice.

    I prefer to think that our Creator will read our hearts and give us salvation if that is his will. If I die, never knowing his will, I want to believe at least he will be just and be like the Jesus I have read about. I have to accept that I will probably never even know a fraction of what truth is. But even a fraction would be something to hope for. So right now I am holding on the the little bit of what I think is truth, and I am trying to accept that I might not ever get past this point.

  • Ravyn

    Dear Nina,

    when I left JWs I left cold turkey and never looked back or had any doubts either. But I have always been an all-or-nothing kinda person anyway. But alot of people I know who do not jump out of it with both feet seem to have these niggling doubts that could jeopardise their recovery processes. And it is not just coming out of JWs. That is what I thot was so significant about the post I copied...everyone seems to have similar doubts(of the ones who have doubts after leaving a fundy group)and yet they were all taught that THEY were the ONLY ones who had the if they all were taught that...then obviously they were taught wrong----so their doubts do not come from it possibly being TRUE, but from it being pounded into their brains. That was like---AHHA! for me to see it that way, thot some others on this list might appreciate it too.


  • cruzanheart

    You're right, Ravyn, and I went through a time of self-doubt, too, right at first. But one of the things that got me out was my internal answer to my internal question: Would I want to live forever with these people? The answer was a resounding "no," and I resolved at that moment to enjoy each moment of life with my family NOW, instead of waiting for someone else's forever. I did need therapy because I had anxiety attacks about condemning my children to death by leaving, but with the help of Big Tex, my therapist and my own self I realized I made the right decision and I wouldn't got back no matter what.

    You did post a really good question -- I like the posts that make people search their souls. That's how we are able to ground ourselves and make ourselves stronger. Thanks!


  • Ravyn

    Dear Lyin Eyes,

    Just remember this--the JWs teach that Armageddon is Jehovah's war with the governments, and that first there must be Peace and Security and the destruction of false religion by these same how does this war with Iraq fit in with that? It doesn't as far as I can see. JWs do not teach that there will be a war that 'leads into Armageddon' as I have heard it expressed...don't know where that particular thinking came from....

    If anything the religiosity involved in this war is strengthening the fundamentalist hold on the government, not the other way around. Since the fall of the Soviet Union WTBS has not been able to pin down a real anti-religious government to blame for the start of the Great Tribulation, unless they want to try and pin it on North Korea. But it definitely is not the US or Iraq who both view this coming war as a holy crusade.

    As far as the fear of this war----that is a real thing to fear! But to fear that it is somehow connected to JWs interpretation of end time a far fetch even for them.


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