Just wanted to say...I am thrilled about this site!! Just found it, and I cant get enough...its good to see that you are not alone having these feelings. I live in Iceland, so there are few I can talk to about this stuff...so few understand! (Only about 300,000 people and 300 JWs in the sountry)
My mother is a JWs and so is my younger sister. My father is not, but he approved that my mother could raise us as she wanted...how many times did I wish he hadnt been such a coward!!! I was raised as a JW...but broke free when I was 14-15 yrs old.
I remember being ashamed for the religion, for being different, since I was 5 or 6 years old. When I went to school I didnt tell anyone about my mothers religion. (just recently connfessing that to my friends and now I am 25!!) I used to say to my classmates...EVERY year that I had been sick over the holidays! Hmm...? On my birthday, I didnt attend school either...because then they would sing me a birthday song and my mother wouldnt like that. She kept really close to my schoolteachers...to observe my every move...that I didnt do anything out of order. And thats just SICK!!! Being obsessed with your daughters behavior at school! Get a life, woman!!!
No...I love my mum, of course. First I was ashamed at her, then angry and now I just feel really sorry for her. Ive tried talking to her about leaving the congregration...yeah right!! Its like talking to a stone. Ive been trying to tell her that the only people who can see the whole picture are those who step out of the frame. When you are too close to this shit, you cant see anything!
I feel like I have been robbed of my childhood, ( kind of like Michael Jackson...lol...! ) u know...not celebrating x-mas or birthdays like all other children, never been able to ENJOY what childhood life can bring you. Like when you knew all the time that there never was no Santa, and all your non-JW friends and classmates were just freaking out of exitement about it! Its frustrating!! You want to join this thrill...
So...what I am trying to ask you is this :"Did you (who were raised in the "truth") ever feel like this when you were little? Or were you proud of being part of the JWs organization?"
Gydja from Iceland