What to do...

by onthefence 23 Replies latest jw friends

  • onthefence

    Well Im going to be unpopular here. I am still in JW orginization, in fact I just went to a meeting tonight and even had the privlege of caring microphones. I'm being set up as an example in the congregation...and guess what else...I dont believe anything!! Its not that I am in direct opposition to "WT dogma" (as it is apparently reffered to on this board) I just dont know. I can (and do) question everything, how can you be sure about anything to the point of such dogmatic behavior, if god really wants us to live a certain way why isnt it more obvious what that way is, why did god used to be so open and talk to his followers in bible times but now we cant even get a miracle, and back to the more fundamental how does putting a god in the role of creator explain anything? Dont you still have to accept the fact that something (like order life love etc.) came from nothing!???...I dont know what I want from everyone out there in cyberspace, I guess just some support. This is so horrible if I leave the truth its going to destroy my parents and my sister I know wont talk to me. Not only that but I have a girl who likes me who is kinda half in half out of the orginization. I told her on the phone last night about how I cant keep myself from questioning things and I could tell she was very upset. WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!? I can't take this its either go along with something that makes me feel like a hypocrite and a liar or leave it and have my family and a good majority of my friends turn their back on me!!

  • messenger

    you have begun the journey, for many it starts with a few questions and then you reach a crossroads. you can turn back or press on. each decision you make will take you closer to or farther from the wt. as no worthwhile journey is completed in a short time, so to with this journey of life. the questions you raised are very valid and are exactly the same as many have asked themselves thousands of times. it is much like the matrix, do you really want to blue pill or the red pill. you have to decide if you want to go to the point where you can never turn back. after a time we kind of rephrase the questions as life becomes clearer.

    Am i willing to waste my entire life to keep my parents happy? Would a real woman see only religion as a basis for a relationship? If this is the truth why are their so many lies that have to be overlooked? am i going to trade one co-dependant relationship with religion for another one? is god really so insecure and in such need of reasurance that if we do not spend every waking hour praying and trying to please him, he will kill us? do you really believe that?

    dangerous questions belie dangerous answers, but the journey has begun and you will have to decide for yourself which direction you wish to go.

  • larc


    If you decide that you are going to leave I would suggest that you fade away slowly. Slowly reduce your meeting attendance and don't share your doubts with anyone except your girl friend. Even with her, I would suggest that you proceed with caution. You might raise one doubt and let her chew on it for awile. I think that if you hit her with a long list of issues, she will panic and leave you altogether.

  • larc

    I reread your post, so I wanted to add a couple of other thoughts. If you fade away, like I suggested, your friends and family will be concerned and deem you spiritually weak, but they won't stop talking to you. If you don't attack the organization or share your doubts with anyone, they can't disfellowship you. Remember, even your closest friend may turn you in, so be careful what you say.

  • terraly

    While I generally agree that it is important to leave slowly, there are also people for whom it is necessary to make the clean break- just to be absolutely and completely free so that the Watchtower can never tell you what to think or say, and can never hurt you again. Unfortunately, this come at the price of them hurting you once (probably a lot) when/if your family and friends shun you.

    It is an option though. Remember that, you can make your own choices, live your own life. It's a terrible, scary thing freewill is, but it's also wonderful.

    Keep coming here if you wish, it's a great place to just vent and laugh and cry- almost everyone here has been where you are right now- we won't be able to tell you what to do, but we'll be able to assure you that you have many options, and all of them can turn out alright.

    Best of luck. In the non-devotional sense of the word of course :)

  • Tina

    Hi fence,
    What may help you is getting answers and information to your questions. Knowledge is power. EMpower yourself with the facts about their wacky dogma and policies! The Watchtower Observer and Freeminds site are the most comprehensive for this.
    Having the truth about the truth will help you decide how to leave. There are also great experiences by those who have left,many have found some of the strategies useful......
    Wishing you well! Tina

  • larc


    The reason I gave him the advice to leave slowly is because he has family at stake. If he didn't, I would say leave abruptly. Several who have left abruptly, have expressed their regrets here for doing so.

  • TheApostleAK

    Take the chick and run!

  • larc


    I think you've got it, by golly, and if the chick won't run, he should find another one who will.

  • TheApostleAK

    Aleast if the chicks half and half you might be able to get a bit extra than with a witness chick.

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