After almost 2 years into my fade these bastards won't give it a rest constant hang ups on my answering machine and today for the first time in about 6 months they come to my apartment complex but thankfully couldn't get in they did keep buzzing me so they were here looking for me.
Hello. Not sure if I can give you a pep talk, but I do feel the duty (?) to tell you is not just disappearing from them. They are not going to just let you leave quietly. It's a cult and as such, they always want to have the last word and the last saying, and if not, they are not just going to let you leave in a graceful manner.
Part of fading involves preparing for this type of unsavory, obnoxious situations where you will have to set boundaries with them, but you are in a place where you have strength and/or support (or whatever else you need) to be able to send them to hell if you need to, sue them if you can/want, or whatever interaction you need to have in order for them to respect your wishes of not being involved with them.
If it's in your best interest to play their game, I don't see why not. However, there will be other family reunions and other events where you will finally have to face the fact that they will know.
Prepare for that event, when you will have to come clean to your family. Don't disappear and then have to deal with situations like this. Fading is NOT just disappearing.