I feel trapped...I might return to the Borg....

by JustHuman14 25 Replies latest jw experiences

  • flipper
    JUST HUMAN- Hi there ! Nice to have you back. I agree with what VIDIOT said, you won't KNOW " trapped " until you go back. I'd avoid going back like it's the bubonic plague- but it's your life and your decision friend. Many times we think family and friends will treat us differently with more respect when we get back in- many times they'll still look at us as inferior or " lesser " than them. I've been through that experience of reinstatement years ago - and I experienced that treatment- then I just became inactive for good 12 years ago- best decision I ever made. But what's good for one person may not be best for someone else. You just need to make a list of the positives versus the negatives and see what you're willing to live with, or live without. Hang in there, we are here for you always
  • truthlover


    Sorry to hear of your predicament, It's so hard to know what to do for the best - the best being your sanity in this case with illness and wanting to have your family around you.. in our congregation it took 1 1/2 years for a sister to be re instated and after that there was a study of the Teach book, not missing a meeting, parameters set up for her, etc.... it depends on the elders in the cong and now with the DO being removed and the CO having complete control and the elders like to Kiss A....., it may not be easy... but then it may be worth it.. it's your move.

    I am in but could be easily in the world, cause even with "family" I am still on my own.... life is life... and personally I like it that way - me and my kid, that's it.. no matter how much you smile and people think all is well, it isn't!

    And at my age, there is no where to go

  • Truthexplorer
    Hi just human 14. . It depends on what the PO/CO is like. It is he who influences how things pan out for you and for how long. I moved to another hall whilst in a state of reproof in 2002. I lasted about 3 months and simply faded. over the following several years I made 2 further attempts to go back.....one time for 6 months regularly.....yet my restrictions were kept in place. Again I faded. In 2009 I made a determined effort to return. The elders left me stewing in the hall for an entire year and a half without bothering to offer me any spiritual assistance despite a heartfelt letter I gave to the PO of that hall about my genuine effort to return. My old PO who I always got on with in my old hall had moved in and couldn't believe his ears at the fact that not one of those feckin feckers did anything to assist me spiritually let alone lift my restrictions. He managed to put things right and all my restrictions were lifted. The PO of that hall I believe wrote me off as an apostate and I truly believe he just wanted me to stop coming. Note: I had written him a letter in 2004 about some things that I felt were wrong with the society which was keeping me away. As soon as my restrictions were lifted (ie 9 YEARS after I was reproved BTW), I said to my wife that I wanted out of this cold loveless unchristian hypocritical hall. We therefore moved into a much more loving hall. I quickly progressed to an MS. However, my heart still isn't in it knowing all I know about this high control organisation. I asked to step down using health reasons. I prefer to stay under the radar now. I no longer tell work mates etc that I am a JW. I simply tell people I am a Christian. I have told my wife I want to celebrate my child's birthday coming up and she seems OK with it. Anyway.....back to my point......be prepared for the worst. If you want to be reinstated, make sure you know your PO really well. Stick to what they advise otherwise they may drag things on. once you get through their man made rules.....you are home and dry re association and keep under their radar. Hope my experience doesn't put you off. cheers TE
  • cha ching
    cha ching

    Hi JustHuman14, so sorry you are sick. I guess I would consider all factors, like: will you soon be debilitated? Are you limited in life years?

    If you will need total physical support soon, that is one thing, if you have hope of recovery, that's another.

    Taking that all into consideration, "coming back" (into this"loving organization") can be hell. Like all the other posters have stated, there are power trippin' people out there that can make it hard on you. You are right, it should be like the "Prodigal Son" arms open, banquet planning! But, alas, it's not.

    If hypocrisy and evil get to you, and you can't take the stress, maybe it's better to live w/o it... If you can take the "dont we looooove this new teaching" (& it's cool w/ you to be reading the tablet/ posting here during the meeting) go for it.....

    Like all have said, do what YOU need to do....

    Maybe looking up articles (better yet, scriptures) about taking care of loved ones, even if DF'd, will convince them to help.

    I hope you make it, let us know how it goes, please!

    Cha Ching!

  • JustHuman14

    Thank you all for your comments. It seems like a hard task to get back. I will keep you updated.

    @Flipper, good to hear from you my friend, I guess is hard for you as well, and you are not even disfellowshiped!!!

    @Truthexplorer, thanks for the info you shared. Just to clarify, you have been reproved, but not disfellowshiped, and yet it took 9 years to lift of the restrictions?!?!

  • Truthexplorer
    Hi just human 14. I was a quite fortunate to see your post just now as Intriged by all the changes happening at the moment etc. Yes, the reason it took so long was I had been reproved in my old hall and had just moved to another area hence to a new hall. My wife and I were having martial problems at the time. My heart wasn't in the truth at that time and I was attending the hall for about 4 months. I was told I needed to attend ALL meetings at that time is 2002. That included the group study. It was that that put me off as I was not allowed to answer up which was really embarrassing. So I gave up after 4 months (faded) as couldn't stand it anymore plus the fact my wife an I weren't getting along at the time. We get along fine now BTW. I then discovered things on line with the age of the internet. I came across this site which led me to crises of conscience which I came across in the city library. That book had a huge impact on me and most certainly changed my whole outlook of the society. About 2004 I made a half hearted effort to return again having to suffer the embarrass ment of attending the group without being able to answer. I lasted about 4 months again. In 2006, I made another attempt to go back, this time I lasted 6 months. After 6 months I went up to an elder who was quite old in years and ASKED him if I would be able to answer up yet. He gave me a remarkable answer which I still remember to this day. He said whilst shaking his head with a you must be joking smirk on his face 'nah, nah no'. That answer just about knocked me over. I lasted about another 3 weeks and was seething with anger at the way these so called loving shepherds treat people who clearly were trying to get back into the fold....yet like to watch people stew. At that point I just gave up. I also decided to write a letter to the PO as to why I didn't want to go back. I mentioned a number of things in the letter that I didn't agree with such as Christ's mediatorship, the blood issue etc and said I wanted to read up on other faiths as felt I had rushed into the JWs etc. The PO came to my home, and discussed the letter. He said the door would always be open and left things at that. I was quite surprised he didn't call a JC to be honest. Anyway In 2007 I was diagnosed with a serious illness which made me think alot about things. I began reading the nkjv of the bible and read it all the way through within a year and a half, underlining and marking everything. At that point I truly felt my spirituality coming back again. In 2009, I made a decisive move to go back to the meetings and thankfully I wouldn't have to sit through the group study as they were done a way with which was a God send. I gave the PO a heartfelt letter telling him I was genuine and sincere in returning and that I would accept the help of the elders. As can be seen by my previous post, they left me stewing for well over a year. Not one elder EVER asked how I was doing spiritually. It was as if they wanted or at least expected me to go away. Over that period of time, I felt nothing but despair and genuine hurt at these men. Every time they were on the platform talking about love and how we should reach out to those who need help, I felt like shouting hypocrites! As per previous post, my old PO got me back on track and shortly after decided to take perimeno' s advice to move to a different hall. Perimeno's advice was absolutely spot on. This brother helped me keep focused. You should check out his writings on his site as will help you in your return. I am now in the same loving hall. The brothers in that hall are genuine Christians and my wife daughter and I are very well thought off. I just thinking k its ashamed these sincere people are being misled by the GB. But know that Jesus on his return will straighten out all error. Perimeno means to wait BTW. I now keep under the radar and avoid saying things that will jeopardise my position within the hall. I really do hope change will come about before Jesus return, we can only hope. I wish you all the best in your return. Endure patiently and once re instated keep a low profile. You don't need to be controlled by the GB, and can have a loving relationship with Our heavenly father and his son. Best regards TE

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