I feel trapped...I might return to the Borg....

by JustHuman14 25 Replies latest jw experiences

  • JustHuman14

    I have being thinking quite a while before posting. Actually I haven't post for quite a long in the forum and I guess I'm one of the old ones, since I became member since 2001.

    After leaving the Borg for almost 16 years and disfellowshiped 10 years ago. You can see my relevant post:


    Fast forward I left home and moved to another country that offered me a good job opportunity, and by doing this I have managed to leave behind (as I thought it will WT and all the problems that followed). The pressure of returning back never seems to end. I guess being a son of CO it wasn't acceptable to leave the Borg.

    Things became more difficult for me when I found out lately that I have developed a chronic disease and as a result more pressure is put on me to return back, since my family are all in the Borg and they would like to visit me without the restrictions of the shunning policy by the WT. I feel so trapped in the WT prison. I went to the so called Memorial this year, and attended few meetings to see if I can take it. Well I felt like complete stranger and nothing can connect me back to their matrix world. I'm thinking to give a try and then fade out. I don't know....did anyone faced similar situation? Any thoughts or advice will be helpful

  • OneEyedJoe

    I'm sorry to hear of your health problems. That's difficult with the best of support systems... for someone who's left their family behind to exit this cult it must be incredibly daunting. I hope you have some support outside the cult.

    Personally the only reason I'd go back is if I needed the support of my family and had no other options. It sounds like you're only considering it to make your family feel better. In your situation, you don't owe them anything. It's well within their power to put you before their cult and you shouldn't feel bass for leaving a barrier between you and them because you're not the one putting it there.

    Whatever you do, there's no shame in either course. Just remember that you have value for who you are, not for what you (pretend to) believe. Being around people in this cult make it easy to forget that.

  • vinman
    Read the book : Exiting the JW Cult by Bonnie Zieman. 30 years into the Watchtower and then became a psychologist. The book is up to date. Helps you through your feelings. Hope it works out for you.
  • Witness My Fury
    Witness My Fury

    If can hack the treadmill of reinstatement just to get your family back from the shunning madness then go for it. But do you know that they will not just shun you again when you fade later?

    Not sure if this is your health concerns talking here or if you just havent done enough research to know it is a cult and complete bollocks and not something to invest time in believing in.

    If you know it's a cult and just want your family back and can hack wasting a about 2 years of your life on reinstatement and fading out then why not.

    Personally nothing could make me set foot inside a kingdom hall ever again.

  • Sabin
    JustHuma, Witness my Fury. Is so right. that is exactly what happens. You are only as good as your last service report. However, only you know in your heart what you need to do & what ever that is then that's o.k. You can still talk on here. Tell us all how it`s going. You may get lucky & wind up in a golden cong, I`ve been in one of those it was great. If not then your gonna struggle with all the hypocrisy & lies. Just my opinion. No judgment.
  • minimus

    You are distressed and depressed but you are actually facing emotional blackmail. Just say no and realize they are a fraud and you cannot in the end feel good about yourself.

  • rip van winkle
    rip van winkle

    Having a chronic disease is difficult enough without having to worry about who can visit you, who can assist you, or reinstatement,etc. I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with so much stress on top of your health condition.

    Do whatever you need to do that will ease your stress. Don't worry about what other people think about your decisions.Do what will be right for you. It's your life, JustHuman 14

  • SecretSlaveClass
    Once again someone in a dire situation has his life held hostage by The Seven Suited Turds and has to suffer as a result. JustHuman it would be easy for me to tell you stay away from the bOrg at all costs but your situation is one I can't even comprehend. All I know is I want to punish that garbage cult for you in a really bad way for puting you in this predicament.
  • never a jw
    never a jw

    Welcome back justhuman.

    Why don't you send your experience to the Australian Royal Commission so they can confirm how bad this organization is.

    Regarding what to do. I could only speak for myself if I were in your situation: "THE HELL WITH THEM ALL!". But you do what you think is best for you.

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    What ever happened to "necessary family business?"

    Is your family so unloving that they wouldn't invoke this reason to see you?

    Your choice, your life. No one can walk in your shoes. Hope it works out well for you.

Share this