Well I got a letter from my brother today, user name is ambush. From prison. I won't go into detail except to relay the sadness, regret, and embarassment he feels, He got arrested AGAIN on an old charge that an asshole DA decided to pursue. He made the mistake of going back and hanging out w/the people he got into trouble w/the first time....the let him take the fall for some serious drugs that were not his. .I feel sorry that he's in prison for nine months, but I'll tell you this. He was home schooled by my JW parents and left alone to his own devices during the day or otherwise he would be working with my dad instead of being in school around people of his age. He got in trouble in 9th grade and they took him out of school to keep him from the "worldly" influences. He has no grammar or writing skills. He has little motivation or reason to do anything, which is why he's in the trouble he is currently stuck in. People with low self esteem usually go and find the same...which is exactly what happened...and I mean the real "bad association". I think he's institutionalized by prison just like JWs are after being JWs for all their life.. They don't know any different and continually make bad descisions that lead to their unhappiness and everyone else's. Sorry...I'm a bit depressed about his letter and pissed at JWland....The alternative that is so clear in my mind is that my parents let him get in trouble and go to alternative school, which is tough on the tough nuts to crack. At least he would have built some self esteem and been able, with help, to develop a future for himself. If he got in trouble there he would most likely go to juvenile hall for a good stay so at least some incentive for behaving and doing good in school would have been there.He would have also been going to school where I work which would have been good for both of us. Who in their right mind leaves a teen at home by himself and expect him to do school work? Sheesh...thanks for letting me vent...have a good evening.
I am so sorry to hear about your brother. And all the poor decision making that was out of his control, leading up to it. I hope he can recover from this and gain a foothold in the real world after his time is served. And I wish you the endurance for this time and the fortitude to be there for him when he needs you again.
Please tell Ambush that someone who remembers him is sending all her best hopes & encouragement. And to you as well. I look forward to seeing him again.
Theresa
Edited by - moreisbetter on 25 January 2003 22:56:15
Edited by - moreisbetter on 25 January 2003 22:56:59
Yes, i remember your brother coming on here briefly. Sorry that he's slid backward again. To change life style a person has to prctically change friends as well (or have no friends). Actually, imprisoning people for drugs is a stupid practice, IMO. Maybe he could get out early, if he gets into some kind of rehab program.
I can relate to what you are saying. I'm sorry your brother got the short end of the stick all the way around. Hopefully with your influence he may turn his life around yet. Hang in there and show him love, that's the best thing we can do, sometimes.
The sad thing was that he had gotten out from his previous offense and was doing good. He wasn't doing the drugs that got him in trouble...hell i even got him to post here once in a while.. I helped him get a job, which was about to allow him to make a little money and travel around the country for a while. His fatal mistake was going back and hanging out with the cretins who got him in shit before, if even for a little while. They got pulled over and they yanked him for the old case. Why can't I just have a normal family where I could go and talk to my parents about it and console each other and eagerly await his release and plan accordingly? Screw me gently with a chainsaw....
Thanks for the comments all.
Sincerely,
District Overbeer of the "Parental Ambivalence" class
Sorry to hear about your brother. From my own personal experiences I believe that parents can have a huge impact on thier childrens ability to make good safe decisions about their life and freinds. My wife has worked in the mental health field for nearly 15 years and she always says that most of the issues people face can be tracked back to childhood and the environment in which they were raised. My wife also says that the only way someone like your brother can break the cycle of poor decisions and mistakes is for them to take ownership of their problems, stop blamming others and learn from thier past. I would suggest that your brother take the next nine months to come to grips with his childhood and how it impacts him as an adult. He should accept responsibility for his situation and use the lessons he has learned to lay out a life strategy and plan. He should write down where he wants to be in life and stayed honest to himself and his goals. He should not let any event in his past define who he is. He is not a criminal, a drug pusher, a druggy, or any other negative label that many other will want to place on him. What he is is a GOD made in the same likeness and with the same power. He has within him the power to become anything he wants to be despite his past. If he does not take ownership of his destiny and understand his GOD given strenths, talents and abilites he will never become the man he is meant to be. If he does not understand his childhood, his mistakes, and the situation he finds himself in then all of his past will of all been in vain. It is when we fail that we learn the most about our abilities and strength but only if we are brave enough to look deep within our self and accept what we really see. I believe in your brother and you and I know you both are strong beatiful men meant to be GODS. The question is does your brother believe as I do. I'll be praying for you both.
I'm sorry that you have to go through all this once again. And you are so right about leaving a kid home to study. What were they thinking? I have a 14 year old that I don't like leaving home unattended !!
XW
Edited by - xenawarrior on 26 January 2003 2:33:27
Some good things: Your brother is young, and he has you looking out for him. The sins of the parents do not need to endlessly play out in the lives of their children...especially when one of those children has the love and concern that you have, and the strength to break the cycle.
I'm really saddened to hear your brother is back in prision. He offered a lot while he was posting here, I looked forward to reading his postings.
I know you miss having the family connections trying times are somehow easier to deal with when you have the support of your family. I do hope you consider us, this forum your family and keep venting here. We hear you, we feel for you and your brother and wish you both the best. At times like these a cyber hug seems so impersonal, but I do hope you can feel the meaning behind it.
JLOB said some very interesting and useful things I hope you can understand what he's saying and relate it to your brother. That's the kind of help your brother needs and it will really give him a good sense of esteem as he concurs his demons and builds a better life for himself. He's lucky to have such a careing brother. Please don't let the blame game eat you alive, life is what it is you make the best and move on.
