Found this on another forum.....just wanted to share it

by Je.suis.oisif 10 Replies latest social entertainment

  • Je.suis.oisif
    Hope my technical skills on my tablet works. Here goes......Dr. Laura Slessinger is a well-known conservative talk show host. She has expressed very negative beliefs about homosexuality.

    She has firmly supported and advocated biblical morality on her TV and radio shows. The following is a tongue-in-cheek letter seeking Dr. Laura's advice on applying biblical morality and religious duties in today's world. Its author is unknown.

    Dear Dr. Laura:

    Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When people try to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

    I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to follow them:

    a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev.1:9).The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

    b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7.In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

    c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness (Lev.15:19-24).The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

    d) Lev.25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

    e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

    f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev.11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

    g) Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

    h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

    i) I know from Lev.11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

    j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread cotton/polyester blend. He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev.24:10-16)? Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.20:14)

    A zillion apologies if it goes belly-up. Just a bit of light hearted reading. Not trying to be academic or anything.

  • clarity

    Je suis .......hey this good! Thanks for posting it, its a good come back for a whole bunch of religious craziness!


  • ToesUp
    Great points. The contradictions in the Bible are unbelievable! We follow some but cherry pick others.
  • Sofia Lose
    Sofia Lose

    This is brilliant!!!



  • Je.suis.oisif
    Thanks guys. Was beginning to think I was as insignificant on this forum as I was to the jdubs.
  • cantleave
    Ha Ha - love it.
  • Splash

    Je Suis, you don't need to prove yourself here.

    Lose the JW guilt and 'cantdoenough'ness, and just enjoy being yourself.

    You don't have to do a quota of posts per month!

  • Diogenesister
    😁👍Love it! With share with next fundies I meet!
  • Je.suis.oisif

    Splash - you're so right. I needed someone to point this out!! Aaarrrggghhh I need a new brain.

  • LV101

    This is great! It's been posted before but I'll copy this time.

    Dr. Laura -- I appreciate her advice re/toxic, evil parents/family members and her efforts to protect children and the innocent but was not aware of her view toward homosexuality.

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